


Your Better Self

by sniperct



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies), Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Ahtohallan River (Disney), Angst, Background Relationships, F/F, Falling In Love, Fate & Destiny, Getting to Know Each Other, Memories, Olaf's Poetry Jam, Romance, Self-Discovery, Sharing a Bed, Trans Cassandra (Disney: Tangled), Trans Female Character, character driven, kind of low-key
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sniperct/pseuds/sniperct
Summary: Handmaiden, fighter, friend, villain. Cass has been all of these things and more, but she still doesn't know who she's supposed to be, or who she even wants to be. Somewhere, there has to be the answer. She didn't expect to find it buried in the snow, but she'd let her happiness be guided by orbiting someone else before and that's the last thing she wants to do again.Elsa has her family, her friends. She has her duty and her purpose. She knows what it's like to long for something unknown and maybe, just maybe, she can help Cassandra find hers.
Relationships: Cassandra/Elsa (Disney: Tangled)
Comments: 82
Kudos: 136





	1. Arendelle

**Author's Note:**

> *walks back into this ship 2 years later with starbucks* 
> 
> If Disney won't give me a post series Cass meeting Elsa, I'm gonna!

Cassandra had never been this far from Corona before. But then, every day she was a little farther from Corona than she had been the day before and she didn’t know when that might change. 

She wondered if she might ever return some day to see her friends, to see Rapunzel. The only allowance she’d given herself had been to sneak back in to see Raps get married. It had set her back a few days but it had felt like the right thing for her to do. But seeing Rapunzel, so beautiful, so shining and happy had been a knife to the heart, only reinforcing the fact that Cass _needed_ to leave for her own good.

She’d left a note where she was sure Rapunzel would find it but still give her a few days to put distance between them before Raps found it. Cass would be long gone by then, too far for Rapunzel to think about trying to find her. 

Somehow, Cass thought that Rapunzel had enough respect and understanding to not try but her big heart could sometimes override that understanding. So when or if Cass returned to Corona, it would be her choice and her choice alone.

Her hand ached. Grimacing, she shook it out, then tugged her glove off. The scarred skin filled her vision, a memento from the power that had hurt her and nearly destroyed her relationship with Rapunzel. When Rapunzel had brought her back, her healing magic hadn’t quite repaired the damage from the decay spell, though it was better than it had been before. Some of the color had returned, but it remained scarred in places almost like she’d been struck by lightning.

It ached again and she rubbed a finger into the scarred palm. At least she had _feeling_ again, except for one finger and part of her wrist, both of which were frequently numb. 

Fidella snorted, shifting underneath her, and she pulled her glove back on and returned her attention to what lay before her. “Yeah. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

It felt good to say that, to _feel_ that. Even though it had been almost a year since she’d left, since she’d nearly destroyed everything she’d loved, she still felt a little emotionally distant. Muted. The only thing she’d felt with the moonstone and Zhan Tiri’s manipulation had been anger and guilt, so being able to once again see a sight and know it was beautiful warmed Cassandra’s heart. And that warmth in turn spread through her until she was actually smiling.

Arendelle had a particular beauty to it that she hadn’t seen anywhere else. It was spring, but the mountains rising above the fjord were still capped with snow, reflected in the sea. The water was pristine and beautiful, and the town and castle had a unique charm that she immediately found endearing. 

Like coming out of a fog, she was starting to remember what it was like to enjoy being alive.

That was a new thing for her. Not that she’d never found beauty in what she’d seen, but she could appreciate a little charm now and again; even if she was much more at home roughing it. After so many years in the castle, living adjacent to but still a part of a life of luxury, Cass had to admit she’d almost prefer a cabin in the woods somewhere, should she ever decide to settle down.

She knew how to fend for herself off the land, and if she positioned it well enough it could even act as a waystation or trading post. “Might be nice to be in charge of my own life and still be useful.”

The horse snorted again, and she laughed, “How does it sound to find some nice place in Germany or France, just for the two of us, once all is said and done, huh? Just not any time soon. There’s so much to see.”

Fidella took the winding road into the kingdom. Like the people of Corona, the people here were friendly and welcoming, waving at her greeting as she passed. Perhaps inspired a bit by old friends, Cass even lifted her own hand in response on more than a few occasions.

Nobody here was batting an eye at a stranger riding into town and from the stories she’d heard about their previous Queen, she could understand. There were much stranger things in the world than Cassandra. 

Take Eugene for example. Please.

She found a stable, dismounting and taking the time to brush Fidella down before going in search of food and a place to stay for the night. That had become a sort of ritual for her in every town she stayed in. Brush Fidella, ruminate over the road traveled and then prepare for the night and the day after.

She fiddled with something in her pocket as she stepped out of the stables. Rapunzel had given her a card she could use, a royal seal that could get her into the castle itself if she wanted, but she preferred not to use it. Cassandra needed to find her own way, but was pragmatic enough that she’d kept the thing just in case. She’d only needed to pull it out just once and had considered a few other occasions besides.

“Hoohoo!”

A man’s voice distracted her from her thoughts.

“You are new to Arendelle yes?” He was a very tall man, very broad and looked like he could snap Eugene in half, but his face was kind and eager. 

Cassandra dismissed him as a threat so long as he wasn’t provoked. “Yeah, I’m staying for a few days before moving on.”

“Very good, very good!” He gestured politely at a sign, “I am Oaken and this is my bed and breakfast and spa! We have a special discount for travelers!”

“I uh, don’t think I need the spa.” Cassandra’s stomach grumbled, “but I’ll take you up on the bed and breakfast part.”

“Wonderful!” Oaken rushed around, making sure she had a key and could stow her things in her room. She found herself almost liking the odd man.

With Fidella settled and her lodging now taken care of, Cassandra continued to explore the town. There were a number of food stalls and she browsed them until she saw something that looked … well, she wasn’t sure how to describe how it looked. It was a hot greasy mess with some kind of sausage. As she watched, the stall proprietor covered the sausage in flour, then dipped it into the vat until it had fried.

“... you only live once.” Cass muttered, and bought one. It was actually pretty good and she made a note to suggest it in one of the letter she hadn’t actually gotten around to writing as she leaned against a wall to watch people pass by.. 

Arendelle wouldn’t be a bad place to settle, she realized, as long as you didn’t mind the winters. But that was the key word, wasn’t it? Settle. Cassandra had settled her whole life and now that she was _free_ she didn’t intend to settle on any thing or any place, at least not without a lot of time spent exploring. 

Somewhere in the vast wide world she was going to find who she was really supposed to be. The destiny of Cassandra. Not the handmaiden. Not the moonstone. Not the daughter of a guard. Just.

Just Cassandra. 

But like she’d told Fidella, there was something appealing about making a place for herself. A part of a nice mental list she could check off.

_Find destiny. Check._

_Carve a place for herself. Check._

_Be alone. Check._

She heard conversation as someone approached, and turned her head as a group came around the corner. 

“The clouds that gather round the setting sun do take a sober colouring from an eye," A snowman said while he rode upon the back of a reindeer. Cassandra looked at the remains of her sausage-on-a-stick as if that could somehow explain what she was seeing. Maybe it was beer-battered? Either way, she tossed it into a nearby trash can.

"That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality; Another race hath been, and other palms are won." The snowman continued, "Thanks to the human heart by which we live, thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears, to me the meanest flower that blows can give thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears."

"William Wordsworth?" Cassandra asked, blinking in shock. The snowman was quoting poetry from William Wordsworth.

"You know of him?" He asked, sliding off of the reindeer and approaching her, adjusting his coal buttons like he was fixing his coat. "Anna gave me a collection of his works. I'm quite the philosopher, you know."

"I..." Okay, this wasn't actually the _weirdest_ thing Cassandra had ever seen. There was a list as long as that poem, "I've never met a philosopher snowman before. Or any snowman for that matter."

Leafmen, yes. Snowmen, no.

“I’ve never met you before either,” he said, and held out a twiggy hand, “I’m Olaf, and this is Sven.”

She shook his hand and then nodded at the reindeer, “I’m Cass.”

Sven snorted, nodding his head in return.

“Would you like to hear more? I’m doing a poetry reading at Oaken’s tonight.” 

“Considering I’m staying there, I guess I’ll be in attendance.” Whether she wanted to be or not. But maybe she could find an excuse to be elsewhere. Poetry jams weren’t exactly her cup of tea after all. She didn’t mind the odd poem, but it had to be something special.

“Perfect, I’m quite a big deal, you know. Elsa is even coming to it.”

“I’m glad your friend is able to make it.” Rapunzel would have gotten a kick out of this and Eugene would have flipped his lid, both things that would have made Cass smile.

“Olaf?” A woman came around the corner. She had fiery red hair done up in a braid that circled her head like a crown witha smattering of freckles across her pretty face. “There you are!” Noticing Cass, she smiled, “Oh, you’re new. Hi! I’m Anna.” She stuck out her hand.

“Cass,” Cass said. She shook Anna’s hand, feeling almost reluctant to touch another person. “Your snow buddy here was telling me about his poetry reading.”

It was probably really was too late to escape the poetry reading, wasn’t it?

“Oh, yeah!” Anna laughed, “I never expected that, but it makes him happy and he’s not half bad at it. It’ll be fun!”

“Loads of fun, I’m sure.” Yeah, she needed to figure a way to get herself out of this, except Olaf looked ecstatic and Cass was pretty sure breaking a snowman’s heart was a crime in these parts. She was trying to avoid that whole criminality thing.

“Your Majesty,” Someone said, nodding to Anna as he passed her. 

Anna beamed at him, “Good morning, Helge!”

Cass squinted. 

Redhead named Anna. Olaf had mentioned ‘Elsa’ too. She’d thought it might have just been a coincidence, but she _did_ do her reading on all Coronan allies so she knew the name of the Queens. And then there’d been those stories of eternal winters and magic and she was looking at a snowman. Cass had wondered how much of Eugene and Raps’ story had been exaggerated and how much was the truth, but her experiences had taught her that anything was possible. “You’re _Queen_ Anna.”

“Uh. Yep.” Anna waved her hands, “Please don’t bow or anything, we’ve already met, it’s too late.” She pointed at her, “No taksiebacksies.”

Getting bowed at all day could be exhausting, Cass supposed. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

“Great! I mean there is a certain degree of formality but that’s neither here nor there, we’re in the middle of the market talking about Olaf’s poetry jam and that is _so_ not the place for bowing.” Anna folded her arms and darted her eyes, then smiled, “Anyway. So where are you from, Cass?”

“Uh. Corona, originally. I’ve been traveling for nearly a year now.”

“Corona! Oh, I’ve always wanted to visit Corona,” Anna said, wistfully. “I hear it’s beautiful and they have all kinds of adventures there. But we have a lot of our own adventures so I guess that makes up for it.”

“I wish I could say adventure was few and far between in Corona,” Cass replied. “But Raps-- I mean the Princess got into all sorts of trouble.”

“Are you going to stay long?” Though Anna stepped close, she still left some personal space which Cass appreciated; she got the impression the Queen was the touchy feely type which was fairly familiar to her. “Let me buy you lunch, you can tell me all about it. Or, whatever you’re comfortable with sharing.”

Cass stared at Anna, feeling like the Queen was Rapunzel amped up to eleven. “I’ll be here a few days, then I was going to head north. I heard something about an enchanted forest? It wouldn’t be the first magical place I’ve ever been but I was hoping it might give me some insight into something I’m looking for.”

“I promise I won’t monopolize you.” Anna waved her hands again then clapped them together excitedly, “Oh! The Enchanted Forest! We were there last year after my sister heard the call of Ahtohallan and became the Fifth Spirit and one half of the bridge between the human and spirit worlds. Long story, there were Earth Giants and a dam, but she could totally show you around.” 

Then she perked up, looking at something behind Cass, “Oh! Speak of the devil. Elsa!”

Maybe not so much Rapunzel amped to eleven as Rapunzel without any filters at all. But thanks to that experience Cass could keep up with Anna’s stream of consciousness. 

She heard the sound of hooves, strangely muffled, and turned towards the direction that Anna had pointed in..

There was a woman riding through the street on a horse that seemed to be made of snow and glittering ice. Golden hair sparkled in the sunlight as it streamed behind her and while it had nothing on Rapunzel’s old length it was still entrancingly beautiful and exceptionally soft looking. She was dressed in white, with blue sparkling gem patterns all over it that seemed to compliment and reflect her eyes and she _shimmered_. She shimmered like diamonds.

Cass quite simply forgot how to breathe. There were few times in her life where she’d been so frozen in place but this woman was some kind of exceptional and Cass wanted to be ensorceled by her. Cass had sworn to never lose control of herself again but a part of her _wanted_ to be ensorceled.

There was the most vague of realizations that she might just have a type.

“Elsa!” Anna waved both of her arms, and Elsa slipped off the water horse, a smile on ruby lips as she rushed past Cass and into her sister’s arms. 

Cass tried not to stare at the woman too obviously. Her back and shoulders were completely bare, which would be scandalous in most countries Cass had visited, but on Elsa it looked elegant.

Anna squeezed Elsa tightly, then let go of her and took her hand to pull her over to Cass. “I want you to meet someone! Elsa, this is Cassandra, she’s visiting from Corona for a few days and she’s interested in seeing the Enchanted Forest.”

Elsa tucked some hair behind her ear, color appearing on her cheeks. Her voice was melodic, “Hello, Cassandra.“ 

The way she said her name made Cassandra _feel_ things. A whole bunch of things that were better left ignored. And so she did, even if she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

Unsure on how to address her, Cass chose to follow the example from Anna earlier, “Elsa, was it?”

And quite against her own expectations she held out her hand. Elsa’s touch was cool, even through the glove, soothing the ache like ice on a burn.

Everyone had a purpose, Cassandra firmly believed in that. And she’d spent too much time around a rabid romantic to not have some of that romance rub off on her. Cass couldn’t say exactly what the future held in store for her, but she now knew it lay in the north, with Elsa in the Enchanted Forest.


	2. Olaf's Poetry Jam

“You said she was from Corona?” Elsa asked, walking alongside her sister towards the castle. She wanted to look behind her, back in the direction that Cassandra had gone in, but she didn’t want to give Anna any ideas and the urge was still a new one for her.

“Yep!” Anna linked her arm through Elsa’s as they walked, “I think she’s an explorer or something. An adventuring knight wandering through the land.”

“She’s a long way from home,” Elsa agreed, smiling at her sister’s romantic nature. 

She remembered that the Princess of Corona had attended her coronation. _That_ had been a particularly heartfelt apology for putting her through all of _that_ on top of everything else. “I’d always intended to arrange a diplomatic trip. But the Grand Tour never happened and then I got so busy just dealing with domestic matters that I was never able to get it done. It’s amazing how much time you can lose when you focus too much on work.”

“I found some of your notes and they’ve helped quite a bit,” Anna said, smiling at her and for once not taking her to task for how hard she’d overworked herself. “But they gave me an idea, assuming you can fit it into your busy spirit schedule.”

“I’m all ears.”

“LIke I don’t know what’ll happen if you go, but you _could_ act as a representative of both Arendelle and the Northuldra in Corona. Or other countries even,” Anna said, excitedly. “Assuming the Northuldra agree to that, since I’m sure they’d want to send one of their own representatives with you.”

She elbowed Elsa, “Like--”

“Honeymaren is married.” Elsa tried not to sound exasperated. Or too dejected. Honestly she was all around confused and caught herself when she almost turned to look in the direction they’d left Cassandra. “And that was a very embarrassing evening, thank you very much.”

“Oh, right.” Anna pouted, clearly disappointed. “Well, you two are still friends, right? I’m sure it would work out.”

“It probably would, but I think I still need another few months before I can talk to her without wanting to sink into the ground.” Just thinking about it made her face heat up, but she didn’t want to lose the friendship she’d made, so she knew she’d have to suck it up and get over it.

Olaf did once say that rejection built character. He said nothing about the ache afterwards though.

Anna patted her arm, “Look at it this way. You were right about her being into women?”

“Small favors.” Elsa smiled, “Very small. But they seem really happy together and that’s what’s really important.”

“Yeah, and ... you _tried_ , too! Come on, even like, a year and a half ago you wouldn’t have even thought about it.” Anna grabbed her arm and squeezed it, “You’ll like someone that way again, probably sooner than you think and maybe that time you’ll be a little more lucky. And _lucky_.”

She knew her sister was right about that. Between how _busy_ of a Queen she’d been, micromanaging literally everything, and her own uncertainty about her place and role in the world, she had undoubtedly missed every hint and flirtation sent her way. “It’s nice, Anna. It might never happen, but it’s nice to know I can try if I want.”

“That’s the … uh .. spirit.” Anna giggled, then eyed her sister up with an almost devious expression.

“Whatever you’re thinking,” Elsa warned. “Don’t.”

“I’m not thinking anything, my mind is completely empty,” Anna assured her, which did absolutely nothing to actually assure her.

It was good to be, well, not _home_ , but in an environment that was familiar to her. Elsa had conflicted feelings about it now that she’d had her horizons expanded. To her, the castle had been a source of anxiety, filled with memories of closed walls and a fear that had clung to her heart like an icy hand. A prison in all but name.

But _Anna_ was home. Anna and Kristoff, Olaf and Sven. They were the warm hugs in the darkness, the thing she looked forward to the most when visiting. It was possible to have two homes, she’d discovered. To belong in two places.

Fitting, for one half of a bridge.

She spotted a familiar face as they walked into the castle, and let go of Anna to rush over to Gerda. Kai and Gerda had been a part of her life as long as she could remember. When she’d been Queen she’d relied on their advice to help her steer the country.

“Gerda!” She hugged her quickly, then let go and stepped back nervously, “Did you get my gift?”

“That new chess set?” Gerda smiled broadly, “I did, thank you.”

“I was thinking we could pick up where we’d left off.” When she’d been growing up, there’d been a chess set in the library. One day, she’d moved a piece. The next morning she’d found someone had moved in response. The games had continued for years, one move and one day at a time. She hadn’t found out that she’d been playing against Gerda until just a few years ago.

“I’d love that.”

“She still kicks my butt,” Anna lamented.

“You’ve won more than a few times, your majesty,” Gerda pointed out. “The sweets are ready.”

“Sweets?” Elsa asked, and then she smelled them. Eyes glittering with devious glee, she hugged Gerda again, then dashed for the kitchen as the scent of chocolate made her mouth water.

Anna protested, rushing after her. “Those are _supposed_ to be for _later_ , Elsa!”

Behind them, she could hear Gerda laughing.

Her sister was surprisingly strong and very quick and they reached the kitchen at almost the exact same time. Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa’s stomach from behind and tugged at her, trying to prevent her from getting into the kitchen.

“Just one bite!”

Anna set Elsa down and put herself between her and the door, “Over my dead body.”

Kind of enjoying the role reversal, Elsa narrowed her eyes, trying to see how she could get past Anna and into the kitchen where whatever chocolate goodies had been baked awaited. Her eyes sparkled, ice spread from her toes until it had slipped under Anna’s feet. Then she darted forward. Anna tried to react, only to find she lacked any purchase. Flailing and screeching like a banshee, she tried to maintain her balance as Elsa rushed past her and into the kitchen.

Inside, the chefs had prepared a variety of treats and Elsa’s mouth watered. She quickly grabbed something and stuffed one into her mouth before she rushed back outside to find Anna sitting on the ground.

Mouth full and chocolate on her cheeks, Elsa offered Anna a piece apologetically. Anna squinted up at her, then sighed and snatched the chocolate out of Elsa’s hand. “Fine, but I’m not gonna _enjoy_ it.”

Laughing, Elsa held her hand out and then helped her sister to her feet, “That’s for all the times you snuck bites out of _my_ events.”

“Fair.” Anna grinned at her, then winced and rubbed her butt, “But the ice was cheating.”

“You’d do the same to me,” Elsa replied, noting that her sister didn’t argue the point with her. 

“You’ve got a little…” Anna pointed at the corner of her own lip.

“Oops.” Elsa wiped the chocolate off with her finger and licked it clean, “So how long has Olaf been into poetry?”

“A couple of months now.” Anna started to walk and Elsa fell into step beside her.

A couple of months? Elsa knew she’d visited more frequently than that, how had she not noticed? Anna seemed to catch her pensiveness and took her hand, “He started this on his own, I didn’t even know about it until a few weeks ago when he gave me an invitation to his poetry reading, and then I told you right away.”

“Oh. Still. He’s _Olaf_.” She remembered the letter. Olaf had called it a ‘poetry jam.’ But Elsa shook her head, “This won’t do, I need to spend more time with him. I can’t…. Just because I don’t live here doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a part of your lives. That goes for all of you.”

“You know, it took me some time to realize that,” Anna admitted. “But I think we’ve worked it out pretty well, haven’t we? ”

“I guess so. Talking about it and not keeping it in helps.” Elsa smiled, though she still resolved to make sure Olaf knew he was loved and appreciated. Maybe she’d write him a poem of her very own!

“I love you, you know that?”

Elsa leaned her shoulder against Anna’s, “I do, and I love you too.”

🌙

Oaken’s Bed & Breakfast (and spa) had a large central room on the first floor that was pretty cozy. There were a few tables, but it was mostly couches and thick chairs, the kind for sitting in and drinking hot chocolate in the middle of a blizzard or something of that nature. It wasn’t quite the kind of taverns or bars that Cassandra was used to, but it seemed much more comfortable.

Someone, probably Oaken, had arranged the chairs in a semi-circle and built a stage seemingly fit for a snowman. Crocus designs adorned the stage.

Unfortunately the arrangement meant that she wouldn’t be able to find a place in the back to watch without being noticed, unless she wanted to stand. There was one chair that looked like it was meant for two and it wouldn’t be hard to prevent someone from trying to sit next to her if she was quick and clever. She stepped down from the last step of the stairs.

“Have a drink and have a seat!” Oaken called out and Cassandra stopped herself halfway to kneeling to pull the dagger out of her boot.

“I did not mean to startle you,” he said, looking apologetic.

“It’s all right.” She managed a smile, “What do you have to drink?”

“Tonight we are serving hard cider and ale for the adults and for the childrens there is milk and assorted juices! Hot chocolate for all!”

“I’ll try that cider,” Cass decided. She wasn’t in the mood for ale and she generally preferred harder liquors besides.

“Would you like a cheese plate?” He held up a plate with a variety of cheeses and looked at her with a hopeful expression on his friendly face.

“Uh, sure, why not.” Far be it for her to deny this man the simple joys of serving his customers. For a moment, she felt a pang for the brutes and thieves Rapunzel had befriended. Even brigands could be good people if they let themselves or found a way to pursue their dreams.

Cass was not so quick to forgive or forget, especially when the villain was _herself._ And she’d given up on herself even if Rapunzel had never done so; it wasn’t just purpose she was looking for. Part of her wanted a reason to respect herself again.

Old fantasies and wants and desires bubbled up, unwanted and unneeded, as she picked her seat and stared down at her plate of cheese forlornly. The last time she’d spoken to Raps, besides sneaking in to see her married … her lips buzzed as she remembered Rapunzel’s goodbye. Just a quick peck on the lips but it had nearly destroyed her. She shook her head to clear the memory; the third and easiest to understand reason she’d fled so far had been to put those feelings behind her, too.

When you’d loved the sun it was so _easy_ to get burned.

“Mind if I sit here?” Someone asked.

Cass lifted her head and tried to think of an excuse to keep it to herself, wholly unprepared to move forward with her plan to avoid being close to someone, “I was saving this seat for…” 

Elsa stood next to the loveseat, a curious expression on her face. Up close Cass could make out a smattering of freckles on her cheeks and nose, and there were more on her bare shoulders.

“You,” She finished, banishing thoughts of drawing patterns like constellations on Elsa’s skin.

Wait, what?

“Really?” Elsa asked, one of her eyebrows quirking.

Cass coughed, “Er, yes. Let me scoot over just a bit.” Elsa sat down to her right and Cass noted that Elsa’s proximity wasn’t warm like Rapunzel’s, nor cold as the ice that was so clearly her element, but somewhere in between. She held up the plate, “Uh. Cheese?”

“Thank you,” Elsa replied, picking up one of the cheeses and politely sticking it into her mouth.

The plate was suddenly very fascinating, and Cass struggled to think of something to say. And more importantly, she tried to think of why she wanted to say anything at all. Cassandra wasn’t much for chatting, though she could be a listener if the situation called for it. More or less she was a _doer_. So why was she trying to think of small talk? Was it rude to ask why she’d abdicated? Cass knew the answer to that was yes. Years of protocol and royal preparation couldn’t be erased that easily but Elsa was fascinating to her.

“How are you liking Arendelle so far?”

Relieved, Cass replied, “It’s a beautiful country, and very friendly.” And a little eccentric, though it didn’t hold a candle to Corona. Corona after all had the _Geese Ball_ , though Cass realized she was about to watch a snowman’s poetry jam so maybe Arendelle was eccentric enough. At the very _least_ it was comparable to wrestling a gopher.

“The people can be a little enthusiastic greeting newcomers. The population of the surrounding countryside has doubled since the gates opened.” Elsa reached over to sneak another piece of cheese and their fingers brushed. Even through her glove, Cassandra could feel it; a chill that soothed the ache and yet felt electric at the same time. 

It also reminded her of the things she’d done and she moved her hand, using it to prop up the plate as she offered it to Elsa, “You can have it all if you like, your highness.”

“Just Elsa, please.” But she took the whole plate anyway, her smile infectious.

“Technically you’re still royalty. A princess by Arendelle’s bylaws.”

Elsa quirked her eyebrow again and Cass felt suddenly warm, “Are you familiar with the bylaws of every country you visit?”

“Yes,” Cass answered, eyes glittering with amusement.

“Well, as _Princess_ of Arendelle, call me Elsa.” She laughed, settling in the seat more, her hip pressing against Cass’s, “Were you an ambassador or something, in Corona?”

“Or something,” Cass breathed.

Leaning over a little, Elsa lowered her voice, so low and sultry that Cass shivered, “Or are you a spy?”

Cassandra snorted, then cleared her throat, “I was - I _am_ a friend of Princess Rapunzel. I used to be her handmaiden and an adviser of sorts in helping her adjust to being a royal. She spent most of her life isolated so it was an adjustment for her.”

She still marveled at Raps’s capacity for forgiveness and how much love there was in her heart. By the end, Rapunzel had seemed to accept her part in their falling out, though Cass’s ability to forgive herself was an uphill climb and one she wasn’t entirely sure she’d ever finish.

Elsa replied before Cass’s mind could continue down that dark hallway, “No wonder you’re so well versed in protocol. But I admit I’m very happy to have left a lot of that behind, isolation included.”

“I’m a bit behind on the news from Arendelle, but it seems to be thriving. Were you ever worried about what might happen after you abdicated?”

“No.” Elsa lit up the room with a fond smile, “Because I knew Anna was more than capable of taking care of our people. She was always my first choice for when I had to travel and she was my first choice to rule. Only choice, of course, but if there’d been other options I still would have chosen her if she’d wanted it.”

Despite her smile, there was something in Elsa’s eyes that drew Cass’s attention. Some mixture between sadness and relief. Her expression softened, “You miss it, don’t you, even if you’re relieved for the burden of the crown to be lifted.”

It had taken Rapunzel years to be ready for that burden and to accept it, and that was without knowing it existed for most of her life. What must it have been like for Elsa to grow up with that weight upon her brow and the royal robes like chains dragging behind her?

“I had purpose,” Elsa said, looking a little downcast. “And I was pretty good at it. But I never felt … I wasn’t _fulfilled_. I was happy to do my duty, but I’d always felt a little like something was missing. Plus I damn near worked myself to death a few times.”

“There’s a saying in Corona,” Cass replied. “Take the time to be your better self.”

There were a lot of sayings in Corona, most of them as silly as the Geese Ball. But Rapunzel had found that in an old book and told Cass about it before she’d left. It was probably meant to be something Cass was supposed to absorb but it felt appropriate to pay it forward.

“I like that.” Elsa lifted her hand to brush a stray hair back and Cass felt inordinately pleased.

Anna bounced in, clapping her hands together. She was followed by a tall, broad man that Cass assumed to be her husband, Kristoff. The Queen glanced around, spotting Elsa and Cass and giving them a thumbs up. 

Elsa waved, and Kristoff grinned and waved back.

“Okay everyone, Olaf is just about ready! Take your seats and settle down!”

“Do you think he wrote his own poetry or will be reading more William Wordsworth?” Cass asked quietly.

“I’m not sure. Olaf loves quoting poetry and philosophy, but he’s written me lovely poems before.” Elsa clasped her hands into her lap, “He’s like … I don’t know what to call him. When Anna and I were little we’d build a snowman and call him Olaf. When I finally let go of everything holding me back, I created him kind of by accident. He’s got a little bit of the both of us in him.”

Like a son, or maybe a little brother. Before Cass could offer her opinion on which that was, Olaf took the stage. He wore a little bow tie and of all things, a cape. She wasn’t sure what the cape was for, but all it really needed was a top-hat to finish the ensemble.

Clearing his throat, he looked around at the gathered people then picked up a little drum and beat on it, “Welcome to Olaf’s Poetry Jam. Tonight I will have a variety of poems from some of history’s greatest poets, including the legendary Arendellan poet Alvaldr the Quiet, whose masterpiece is three hundred thousand silent syllables and will take up most of the night.” Olaf beat the drum again, “But first, a poem of my own creation.”

“Three hundred thousand _silent_ syllables?” Cass whispered, eyes widening. 

“Ice glitters,” Olaf said. “Fragments and fractals fluttering to the ground.”

Elsa shifted next to Cassandra, and she hazarded a glance at the woman. Her expression was hard to read; wistful, perhaps. Definitely a little emotional, enough so that Cass found herself dying to learn more.

“A reflection!” Olaf held up his hands, then brought them back down on the drum, “Myself in the fractals, turning around spinning and sparkling.”

Ba bump on the drums.

“Eyes of sapphire.”

Ba bump da.

“A smile like the morning sun!”

“Oh, Olaf,” Elsa whispered, wiping at the corners of her eyes and beaming that morning sun.

“Elsa!” Ba da bump. “Anna! My family, my friends!”

Awkwardly, Cass patted Elsa’s knee. It was sweet but probably a little embarrassing to have someone write a poem about you, but was it really that different from a painting?

“Who are we without our friends?” Olaf continued, and Cassandra felt an unexpected and unwanted ache in her chest.

That was why she had left, wasn’t it? To find out who she was without Rapunzel and Eugene? And yet this ridiculous poem was making her heart ache more than her hand and made her miss Rapunzel and yes, even Eugene.

But mostly Rapunzel.

“We are but a puddle of despair! Adrift! Lost in a tossing sea. Forever!”

Ba bump.

It was only when she felt Elsa’s hand rest on top of her own and squeeze that Cass realized her eyes were watering. She quickly blinked them dry and was about to try to extricate her hand when Olaf finished.

“For friends freeze our hearts with warmth and good cheer!”

Elsa let go of her hand to clap and Cassandra bit back a grimace when the warm ache returned in the absence of the cooling touch.


	3. A Long Ride

Olaf’s Poetry Jam lasted well into the evening and Elsa was pretty sure most of the audience slept through the silent syllables. Olaf’s head had been bowed the whole time so Elsa hadn’t been able to read his lips to see what, if anything, the poem was about.

She glanced at Cassandra, who had indeed taken an inadvertent nap, her cheek warm against Elsa’s shoulder. Gently, and a little reluctantly, she nudged her with her elbow, “Cassandra.”

Cass’s eyes opened, and she blinked a few times as if trying to place where she was. Her face reddened as she sat up. “Uh. Sorry about that.”

“I don’t mind. I’m pretty sure Olaf is asleep too.” Elsa kept her voice low, so as not to wake either him or anyone else. Quietly, she stood, pausing to watch Olaf where he sat snoring loudly. “Make that definitely sure.”

“The Queen is out too,” Cass noted, pushing herself up and folding her arms. “I’ll have to suggest this trick to Raps-- I mean Princess Rapunzel, give her a nice quiet day by putting everyone to sleep.”

“She’s your friend, I doubt she’d care if you call her by a nickname.” It was kind of cute, Rapunzel clearly meant a lot to Cassandra.

“Trying not to make a habit of it around people who she might have to negotiate trade deals with.”

Elsa crooked her finger for Cass to follow her and started to walk, “I promise you she will not have to negotiate anything with me. At least nothing to do with _Arendelle_.”

They stepped outside into a pleasant breeze. Elsa closed her eyes, sighing contentedly, but she felt Cass’s eyes on her.. 

“You can’t tell me you’ve never offered advice.”

“Of course, but I’ve learned to wait for her to ask.” Elsa grimaced at the memory, “There were a few missteps at first, but we worked it out. Now …” She turned around, walking backwards through the street as Cassandra followed her, “I can’t really negotiate for the Northuldra either, at least not unless they want me to. And unless it has something to do with the Spirits, I don’t think they’d want me to. After everything they’ve been through, I’d think they’d want to maintain their own sovereignty, especially when dealing with foreign powers.” And she owed it to them to make up for the crimes of her family.

“So what is it you do, exactly?” Cass’s eyes dropped down to Elsa’s feet and then back again in a way that made her feel exposed, “Though you wouldn’t be the first Royal I’ve met who runs around barefoot.”

“I _do_ wear heels sometimes still,” Elsa protested. Social functions mostly, she just thought Olaf’s Poetry Jam was a less formal occasion with something like casual formal.

There should be a word for that.

“It wasn’t a dig, El.” Cass smiled at her with a sort of devilish charm that made her heart skip a beat and her heel catch on a cobblestone.

Cassandra darted forward, catching her before she could hit the ground and almost cradling her for several seconds before lifting her up and setting her back onto the ground. Her hand pressed into the small of Elsa’s back, sending warmth and a strange sort of thrill up her spine.

“Thanks,” Elsa said, heart fluttering, eyes wide and skin the color of Anna’s hair.

Raking the fingers of her freek hand through her hair, Cass smiled that damned charming smile again, “Anytime. Are you okay?”

“I’ll live.” Elsa’s voice was far too breathless for her liking. She was usually more graceful than this but Cass kept throwing off her sense of balance.

Both literally and figuratively, it seemed. “Something tells me you were more than a handmaiden.”

“My father was Captain of the Guard,” Cass explained, and if her hand remained where it was forever Elsa wouldn’t mind. Which was a strange feeling for someone who had a hard and fast limit on who was allowed to touch her. At least she used to; her time in the forest had loosened her up somewhat, but it was still a small miracle in her mind that she felt so open to Cass already.

“So I learned a lot watching him, because I wanted to be one too. And so I sort of became Rapunzel’s bodyguard sometimes.” She sounded almost sheepish as she said, “Raps saved me about as many times as I saved her.”

“Sounds like me and my sister.” Elsa thought that was the safest thing to say because the _way_ that Cass said Rapunzel’s name was very telling. She’d heard Kristoff utter Anna’s name in much the same way. There were feelings there, or at least there had been once.

Cass muttered something under her breath before saying louder, “I miss her, but ... a lot happened and space is good.”

Now Elsa was _really_ curious, but she changed the subject to spare Cass the obvious pain. Rapunzel was her cousin and if she trusted Cassandra that much, then Elsa felt pretty good about trusting her too, “Anna said you were curious about the Forest. Would you like to visit?”

“Yes.” Cass finally pulled her hand away from Elsa’s back, “I would really like that.”

“According to Olaf,” Elsa replied, biting her lip. “That Forest is a place of change.”

If Cass had any thoughts about that, she didn’t share them with Elsa.

🌙

Cassandra reclined back into the tub, trying to force herself to relax. This was, after all, probably the last time she’d get a chance to bathe in hot water for a long time and she wanted to enjoy it.

There were _some_ luxuries even Cassandra liked.

Her right hand throbbed, and she lowered it into the water, resting it on her thigh as it alternated between tingling numbness, dull aches and the rare spike. While it had been doing better, tonight seemed like it would be a bad night. 

But with the pain came the memories. Rapunzel had hurt her and she had hurt Rapunzel right back. What was done was done, but she hoped that when or _if_ they saw each other again they would be able to find that balance again. That friendship that had meant so much to her, if not the love she’d felt for her.

Cass lifted her hand, staring at the scars and her aching finges. It was painful, but not intolerably so, as she stretched and then re clenched her hand to exercise it. She’d always been ambidextrous so switching her main and off hands had been second nature. And it got a little easier every day but holding a sword properly took training and practice. 

Part of her hated it. Hated that such a change was necessary, that it had been a year and she still wasn’t back to where she had been before the decay spell had stripped the life from her fingers. Even more, she hated that maybe she never would be. Part of her hated _Rapunzel_ for it. For … So many of the things that Cass had done in her anger and rage. 

But she’d been manipulated, she knew that now. Still didn’t excuse it, but she knew it. Cass looked at her hand again, flexed it once more, and reminded herself that while Rapunzel had healed much of the damage when she’d returned Cass to life, the rest was up to her.

Right, right, she was trying to relax. Cass closed her eyes, letting the warm water sooth her hand but thinking of an icy chill that had been even more soothing. An icy touch. Gentle fingers. Soft, red lips. Cass sighed. Bad enough she had been mooney over one Princess, no way no how was she going to let herself make that mistake twice and not over an ex-Queen spirit goddess.

Even if radiantly beautiful was apparently her type and the thought of those ruby lips on her skin became almost impossible to ignore. What was wrong with her that she longed to be touched so badly? Her own hands were certainly no substitute and she went to bed feeling unsatisfied and somewhat guilty.

Cass didn’t dream that often. Too busy, too much of a waste of time and when she did dream they were always of things far out of reach. But she dreamt that night of sitting in a boat in a river, watching the trees go by and feeling like she had _purpose_. Cass had the impression she wasn’t alone, but the morning drove the dream away before she could turn around.

She came downstairs, helped herself to a muffin, and then In almost no time at all she had packed and gotten her gear stowed on Fidella.

“Miss Cassandra!” Oaken appeared from around the stable door with a speed and stealth that nearly gave her a heart attack. No man that large should move that fast!

“Oaken! Hi there. I thought you were asleep.”

“Oh, no no! I knew you were leaving early this morning and I wanted to make sure you got your free complimentary continental breakfast lutefisk!” He proudly held up a jar of the stuff and Cass’s stomach immediately turned. “My special recipe! It won last year’s Lutefisk Tasting Contest! I think it would go very well with that muffin you had, ja?”

“Lutefisk tasting-- It’s okay, really, I really really appreciate the gesture but I’m … totally allergic to the stuff.” Cass gestured at the jar, trying to back away with Fidella in tow. The mare was eyeing the jar with hostile disdain.

“Ja! Every year we have the Lutefisk Festival! Games and dancing and the contest! The Queen is the judge, of course, and last year we had both sisters!”

No wonder Elsa had abdicated if tasting lutefisk was a Royal Responsibility. Oaken deposited the lutefisk into Cass’s saddlebag before she could object, smiled charmingly at her, and then returned to his establishment.

“Damn,” Cass muttered. 

“I’m afraid you won’t be able to throw that away anywhere near Arendelle.” Elsa appeared on the other side of Fidella, reaching up to stroke her flank and scritch her ears, “Oaken would know, trust me.”

“I’d hate to break his heart,” Cass replied, and was rewarded by a rich laugh from Elsa.

“We should get going, then.” 

Cass glanced around, “Where’s your water horse?”

“Do you think I could ride with you?” Elsa asked, rubbing her arm, “I try not to rely overly much on the spirits. They’re not pets or farm animals to be used at will and I don’t want to take them for granted.”

That was not what she’d expected Elsa to ask her, and in another life she might have suggested Elsa ride the Nokk anyway. But that life that had been one defined by propriety and bowing down to the wishes of others. She found she missed the easy and casual intimacy she’d shared with Rapunzel before the … everything. But there was no going back to that, even if she wanted to. Amazingly, with Elsa there was more equal footing, despite the magic. Or maybe because of it; Cass had been forever altered by the Moonstone and she frequently wondered if she was still fully human.

So Cass mounted up then held her left hand out to the Lady. Smiling, Elsa took it. She wasn’t heavy, but not as light as Rapunzel. Either way, Cass could lift her without effort. As she settled in behind her, Cass told her thundering heart to cool it before it betrayed something she wasn’t fully ready to face.

“Okay,” Elsa said, her mouth dangerously close to Cass’s ear. “Just head out of town and take the North road. Since it’s just us and we’re not pulling a cart we can probably make it before nightfall. Otherwise we’d have to stop to camp for the night.”

“Where do you live up there? Is there a village?” Cass was suddenly very aware of Elsa’s proximity as she nudged Fidella onto the road and a light trot. She felt hands snake out around her waist and inhaled sharply.

“The Northuldra are nomadic, they pack up and move around several times a year. I have my own goahti, which is kind of like a little mobile house or wooden tent. We last moved a few weeks ago, so they should still be where I left them. But I also spend a lot of time just sleeping under the stars.” Elsa sounded almost wistful, sighing as she continued, “I’ve always felt… constrained by the castle. Most of my life I was locked within those walls. The memories aren’t always good, though I built some new ones after my coronation.”

Cass was curious, but didn’t want to broach subjects that Elsa might find uncomfortable, “Memories are complicated things, El. But you don’t have to think about them if you don’t want to.”

Elsa’s hand splayed out over Cass’s stomach, making her heart race, “Yes, memories really are a complicated thing. But I don’t mind talking about it.”

“Trust me, I’d understand. There are things you don’t share with strangers you just met, though I’d happily listen.”

“Like marriage proposals,” Elsa said, almost chipperly.

“I’m sorry, what?” Cass twisted around to look at her.

Elsa had an amused expression on her face, eyes glinting with merriment, “Just something that I’ll never let my sister live down for as long as we live.”

“Now _this_ sounds like a story.”

“Let me tell you all about _Hans_ ,” Elsa replied, before launching into the unbelievable story of her coronation night. Unbelievable, except that Cassandra had lived through something just as much so.

The way Elsa told it, Hans seemed like an irredeemable monster. Cass wasn’t sure how she felt about that; or how much might be true and how much bias. After all, she’d had her turn as the villain and even if she’d felt she might have crossed the line a few times, Rapunzel hadn’t felt the same way. But she also hadn’t tried to _literally kill_ Rapunzel or her family mostly. Still, for some reason she found herself bothered by Elsa’s certainty on the matter.

After a period of silence, Cass wet her lips and asked, “Not to defend him or anything, but do you ever think there might be a way Hans could make up for what he did?”

Elsa frowned, her chin resting on Cass’s shoulder, “I don’t know. He’d have to show remorse for his actions at least. Heck, I’d even take an apology at this point. What I do know is I don’t think I could ever be _friends_ with him or want to talk to him ever again. And God help him if he ever tried to hurt someone again.”

Cass had the strong mental image of what expanding ice could do to the blood in someone’s veins.

Elsa’s fingers dug into her stomach, “Why … do you ask?”

She pursed her lips, uncomfortable with discussing her wicked past but knowing she’d brought this upon herself. “It’s a long story, El. Involving some stupid decisions, a little manipulation and a lot of hurt feelings.”

“Sounds complicated.” Elsa didn’t move her hand from Cass’s stomach, nor her chin from her shoulder though her fingers relaxed, “But did it work out?”

“Better than I’d imagined and not as good as I might have ever hoped.” She shifted on the back of the horse, Elsa’s proximity making her feel that same kind of starved for touch she had last night, “Maybe I’ll talk about it someday.”

“I can listen.”

“Maybe I can get another story out of you.” Cass trailed a finger down Elsa’s knuckles, “You’ve got a beautiful voice.”

Elsa shivered, withdrawing her hand and not responding immediately. Cass bit back a sigh, peering ahead of them and trying not to feel irrationally hurt. Mostly, she felt a little embarrassed and chided herself for … complimenting Elsa?

But then Elsa’s hand returned to its previous location and Elsa murmured, “Thanks… Uhm. Yours is pretty, too.”

Cass’s mood immediately lifted, then she felt something like _guilt_ and the whiplash made her dizzy. There was no reason to feel guilty, at least not when it came to Rapunzel, yet she did feel a little as if somehow being drawn to someone else was a betrayal. A breathy laugh escaped her, “Oh. Thank you, El.” 

Really. She had no idea what she was doing or where she was going but she was kind of enjoying getting there.

🌙

They rode for a time in a companionable silence, though Elsa struggled to relax being pressed against the woman in front of her. It was a little maddening, in a way she’d never experienced or even expected to before.

Elsa had always known she was a little different when it came to romance; all those stories Anna had loved had never really connected with her the same way, save one she’d found buried deep within the library. It was about a girl named Nuriya who’d wanted to be a knight. Elsa had never had any particular inclinations towards knighthood herself, but as the literal crown princess she’d discovered she’d rather have liked the idea of a Lady Knight coming into her life. While Arendelle had always had women in guard positions, it had never had knights of any kind. It had seemed romantic, though completely out of reach and she’d put it out of her mind as an option. Only recently had she felt ready to entertain such notions again.

And while Cassandra was no knight, she kind of carried herself like one. Like a woman who’d seen things and been places that Elsa had only ever read about. It made Elsa intensely curious about Cass and what she might have seen. So she broke the silence, hoping to get her to talk about herself, “Are you much traveled, Cassandra? I know you came from Corona, but I don’t know what places you might have visited.”

“Even before I left we traveled quite a bit. After … The Princess went on a journey a couple of years ago and I went with her. We visited a number of places. A great tree, a deserted island, the … Dark Kingdom, Vardaros. After I left I paid a visit to a few of those places before I decided to come north.”

“The Dark Kingdom?” Elsa asked, getting the impression that Cass was trying to skip past that one. She felt her tense under her hand and changed the subject, “Anything interesting since you left Corona?”

“Maybe one or two things.” Cass leaned back against Elsa, just a little, and Elsa found herself not minding. As it was, everytime Cass moved she could feel her stomach muscles through her shirt and that was _really_ nice. God, she should have asked Kristoff for advice. Or maybe even Anna.

But Anna would have been difficult to deal with, love her as she did.

Elsa had never been particularly touchy outside of her family, but Cass seemed to hit a few buttons she hadn’t known existed. There was just something so intriguing about her that made Elsa’s usual boundaries feel soft and malleable.

Relaxing, Cass replied, “I visited France, stayed with a former prince and his wife for a few days. They told the wildest story about enchanted furniture and beasts, but it felt like there was a ring of truth to it.”

“Ice magic, magic hair… “ Elsa smiled, “Why not enchanted furniture?”

Cass laughed, “I’ve met leaf people and a snowman, so a beast man? Completely possible. It was while I was in France I started to hear about things up here. I’d always kept tabs on Corona’s allies and I’d known you’d abdicated, but I hadn’t heard about enchanted forests until rumors started circulating.”

“Interesting, but unsurprising that news has spread,” Elsa replied, unsure of her own feelings on the matter. “I opened Arendelle’s borders almost immediately, after all, and there was an influx of immigration. Plus Arendellans are hopeless gossips.”

“So are Coronans,” Cass said dryly. “Didn’t the population nearly double within three years?”

“Yes. Still fairly small, especially compared to Corona, let alone France.” Much of the work Elsa had done in her three years as Queen had been to ensure good relations with Arendelle’s allies. Their relationship with the Southern Isles had become shaky, but the opening of borders and trade had ensured that Arendelle could enter into treaties to ensure her defense. Anna had been indispensable, learning all she could about allies and adversaries alike, and she’d _always_ been so much better at being among the people than Elsa had. Even if she’d opened up quite a bit, she had never been fully _comfortable_ with that aspect of her role.

Running off to live in a forest with people who had no expectations of her beyond ‘commune with the spirits’ had been such a freeing experience from the life she’d led before.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Cass asked, seeming to notice that Elsa had gotten lost in her head.

“I was mostly thinking about the differences between myself and Anna and how much she’s shining in her role as Queen. I was a bit of a work-a-holic. But she knows how to balance her life a lot better than I ever did.” Elsa lowered her voice, almost afraid of saying it out loud, “It was … a _relief_ to step down. I hadn’t realized how much I was drowning until I’d discovered there might be another role I could fulfill. That there was more to life than suffocating walls.”

Cass was silent for a long moment, which allowed Elsa’s thoughts to wander. She was surprised at herself for admitting this much to a virtual stranger, when she’d barely admitted much of it to herself. Elsa was afraid that she might have said too much, made Cassandra uncomfortable, or worse.

“How did you know?” Cassandra asked, breaking her silence, “How did you know you’d found your role in life?”

There was a longing in Cass’s voice, a strained vulnerability that made Elsa’s heart want to reach out to her. So she hugged her, very gently squeezing the arms she had around her, “I just _did_. I found myself, or rather, a place where I could _be_ myself. Be the person who’d been hiding deep inside, so deep I hadn’t even known what I was missing.”

“Sounds like an epiphany.”

“Sounds like you're disappointed,” Elsa replied. “Is that what you’re looking for?”

Cass leaned forward, rubbing her fingers through Fidella’s mane, “I honestly don’t know.”

“The forest has a way of showing you things.” Elsa lifted her head as she spoke, feeling a shift in the air. She couldn’t help the excitement in her voice, “And we’re getting close, Cassandra!”

Sure enough, they came up over a hill and Cassandra slowed Fidella to a stop. Stretching below them was the Forest, the leaves a fresh green that made Elsa want to fill her lungs with the deepest of breaths. There was a soothing energy to the forest, and if Elsa closed her eyes she could sense the spirits and people within. She’d come home.

“Can you feel it?” Elsa asked, tracing her fingers in circles on Cassandra’s stomach.

“Y-yeah.” Cass nudged Fidella forward, “So is there anything I should know?”

“I’ll give you a little rundown of my mother’s people,” Elsa promised her. “And you can stay with me.”

“If you won’t be put out,” Cass shifted, glancing behind her.

“It’s okay, I promise. There’s room.”

“I can lay my bed roll out onto the floor,” She replied, turning back.

Elsa opened her mouth to suggest they could share her bed, but snapped it shut almost immediately. _Why_ she’d wanted to suggest that was beyond her, though she was sure her sister would have some ideas. It was a bad idea, Elsa decided. After all, the last person she’d felt like this around had already been spoken for and she didn’t really want to feel that kind of rejection again. Letting someone in, letting someone _new_ in was a gamble she wasn’t sure she was ready for.

“What’s that?” Cass pointed at something rushing towards them, and Elsa gasped.

She hopped off of Fidella and rushed forward, “Bruni!”

The little fire spirit bounced in place, then ran around her in circles. Laughing, Elsa twirled her hand, sending ice and snow fluttering down, which Bruni tried to lap at. Then he scurried up her arm and settled on her shoulder, snuggling into the crook of her neck, steam rising from him at the contact.

When she turned around, Cass was staring at her with a soft smile on her lips and Elsa felt her cheeks heat up, “Cass, this is Bruni, the fire spirit. Bruni, this is my new friend, Cassandra.”

Bruni blinked at Cass, then licked his own eyeball.

“I think that means he likes you,” Elsa assured her.

“You’re the spirit one,” Cass said. “I was just the moon for a little while.”

Elsa nodded, then blinked, but Cass had already swung off of her horse and come over, holding a hand out to the spirit, “Raps has a chameleon named Pascal. Very intelligent and usually pretty friendly.”

“Named after the artist?”

Cass blinked at her, then her smile widened, “Yes. Rapunzel and art go together like a blue sky in summer.”

Sometimes, the way Cassandra said Rapunzel’s name was incredibly telling. It wasn’t the first time that Elsa had heard a bittersweet note of sadness and longing. Whatever Rapunzel and Cassandra had been to each other, the feelings ran deeper than friendship. She wondered if that was part of the reason Cass had left, to give herself space. Elsa hoped Cass would open up more, and resolved to make her feel comfortable enough to do so.

“I like to sketch and draw, but my artistic talent is more musical in nature.”

Eyes flicking up to Elsa’s face, Cass replied, “I wouldn’t mind hearing that sometime.”

“Well,” Elsa said, trying not to read too much into the color on Cass’s cheeks. “Maybe I’ll sing for you some time.”


	4. Enchanted Forest

Cassandra was not getting a good night’s rest. Oh she was tired enough, after the ride up and then the time spent being introduced by Elsa to the Northuldra and to the little salamander that was apparently a spirit of fire. But mostly there was a kind of _energy_ to the forest that made her skin prickle and left her feeling almost restless. She turned on her bedroll, first onto her right side, then onto her left, but no position was comfortable and she wondered if she’d ever be able to sleep.

She could still see the expression on Elsa’s face as she’d greeted Bruni. It had been so open and honest and happy that it had struck a chord within Cassandra. Elsa was a fascinating woman and the way she smiled seemed to reach directly into Cassandra’s chest and squeeze her heart.

It was disconcerting, the kind of sucking chest wound feeling that she’d only ever felt around Rapunzel before. Elsa was so much her type that she hated it for herself, but she had no one to talk to and no one to get advice from. Perhaps she could send a letter to Raps, but first she had to figure things out for herself.

That was the whole point of her leaving Corona, after all.

Feeling as though she were being watched, Cassandra opened her eyes. Icy-blue blinked sleepily down at her from the cot, making Cass feel uncharacteristically bashful. Elsa held her gaze for a long, _long_ moment before she whispered, ”Can’t sleep?

“I’m feeling a little restless,” she admitted, drowning in the arctic ocean of Elsa’s eyes.

“The floor can’t be that comfortable.”

Cass smiled, “I’ve slept on worse. I don’t think that’s it.”

“Are you sure?” Elsa yawned as she spoke, then belatedly covered her mouth.

Oh, that was entirely too cute and Cassandra struggled to remind herself of how much trouble those kinds of thoughts had gotten her into in the past. “That sleeping on the ground isn’t the problem?”

“It could contribute,” Elsa pointed out. Her voice was a little slurred from her sleepiness and her eyes seemed to keep closing against her will, “Back problems, restlessness … If you can’t sleep, however will you be rested enough for our day tomorrow?”

“El, go back to sleep, you sound like you’re already half-way there.” Cass chuckled, lowering her head back onto her bed roll and closing her eyes.

“There’s … there’s room up here, you know,” Elsa whispered. Cass’s eyes snapped back open in time to see an incredible journey on Elsa’s face. It started with shock, traveled through confusion, self-admonition and embarrassment. But Elsa didn’t take the offer back.

Honestly the cot looked much more comfortable than the floor even if it wasn’t the sort of bed she was at all used to. The only hesitation she felt was that Elsa would also be in it.

On more than one occasion she’d shared a bed with Rapunzel when the princess had nightmares, and each and every time had been absolutely _maddening_. Worth it, for Raps to sleep better, but still maddening.

Again, she realized how much she missed that simple intimacy. Cass opened her mouth to decline, “Will it help _you_ sleep better?”

Elsa lifted her head a little, blinking down at Cassandra, “Uh. It might? I haven’t had a nightmare in awhile but they do still happen sometimes.” She tilted her head for a moment before adding, “Yes, it will help _me_ sleep better.”

_Oh, she knows exactly what buttons to press to get her way_ , Cass thought, sitting up quickly. _I really am doomed._

She got up, and knelt on the side of the cot, trying not to stare too much at the way Elsa’s blanket fell over her body, revealing the curve of her hips. The safest course of action was simply to lay on top of it, but Elsa had already opened the blanket, staring up at her with one eyebrow quirked. Miraculously, she managed to keep her eyes on Elsa’s face for the most part. 

Resigning herself to her fate, Cassandra slid into the blanket, laying on her back as Elsa threw it over her. Elsa rolled onto her back as well, their hips and arms pressed together. It was different from laying next to Rapunzel, and not just because Raps would have immediately wrapped herself around Cass.

“Can ... I be on the outside?” Elsa asked.

“Of course.” Cass didn’t question it, though when Elsa had to climb over her she forgot how to breath. With Elsa effectively straddling her, Cass stared up at her for several long seconds, frozen in place. Elsa stared back and even in the darkness Cass thought she could see her blushing. Her lips looked eminently kissable and Cass was ashamed to admit she considered it. But then the moment passed and Elsa was safely on the other side of the cot.

Elsa was … cold. No, not _cold_ per se, but cooler to the touch than most people Cassandra knew and it was as she’d noticed before kind of soothing. Rapunzel, in contrast, had been like sleeping next to a campfire, a warm summer day compared to Elsa’s cool winter’s night. Cass rested her right hand on her stomach, her elbow wedged against Elsa’s side. It ached and she debated moving closer to get some of that coolness, but then she might have to explain why she was still wearing a glove on that hand. And the longer she lay there, the more it felt as though Elsa’s skin was warming to her. Elsa’s nightgown was thin, certainly thinner than Cass’s clothing, and she squeezed her eyes more tightly shut as if trying to will herself to sleep and ignore every inch of Elsa that was pressed against her.

After a few more moments of this awkwardness, Elsa rolled onto her side, back to Cass. Cass felt something like a hum in the air, or perhaps she was just very conscious of her own body and it’s proximity to a beautiful woman. She’d always found women preferable to men and had once sought out someone to combat her loneliness but had been unable to follow through. She’d looked too much like Rapunzel and it hadn’t felt right.

And Elsa most assuredly did not. She turned her head towards Elsa, studying the way her hair glowed in the soft moonlight filtering in through a little slot in the roof. Like silver spun with gold. Hesitantly, she rolled onto her side, chest to Elsa’s back, and trailed the tips of her fingers through Elsa’s soft, silken hair. Then she moved her hand down, sliding it over Elsa’s waist as she spooned against her.

Elsa’s hand covered Cassandra’s. But the touch of her hand and the smoothness of the gown beneath Cass’s palm made her heart race. Her right hand pressed between the two of them, Elsa’s coolness acting like a balm. The ache was dull and distant, and Cassandra listened to the sound of Elsa’s breathing. She could feel the woman’s heart beating too, and it was all she could do not to kiss her shoulder or do some other too-obvious sign of affection; Elsa allowing this much felt like a rare gift and Cass was not going to take more than she was given. 

_I’m not a bad person_ , she reminded herself. And she almost believed it.

🌙

At some point she must have fallen asleep, because it was morning when Elsa opened her eyes. They’d changed positions in the night, her face tucked in beneath Cass’s chin and her hand pressed against her chest. Groggily, she tried to figure out what this wonderful feeling was, before she realized that Cass was running her fingers through Elsa’s hair, down her back and then up again. Over and over again, through her hair, down her spine, and back up again. Once in awhile, Cass’s fingers would trace a circle, leaving little shocks of pleasure in their wake.

It was comforting and calming and at the exact same time terrifying. Elsa had closed herself off most of her life; only Anna, Olaf and Kristoff had been able to break through that wall of ice, though the freedom she’d experienced since Ahtohallan had made her less prone to freeze up. It still didn’t explain why she was so unable to control the magnetism she felt around Cass, but that was a problem for future her to worry about. This just felt so _nice_.

Cass had never given her any impression that she was all that touchy either. In fact, she had seemed a little closed off and distant at first. But that was something that she could only wait for Cass to talk about. For the moment, she was content to not move and just enjoy a kind of intimacy that was excitingly unfamiliar to her. Cass’s fingers moved from her hair again, starting to trace new patterns in her back and making her feel a little breathless in the process. She felt weightless, as though there really was nothing between Cass’s calloused fingers and the skin of her back instead of her night gown. God, but Anna would never let her live it down if she knew how easily Elsa was losing herself in this moment.

She squirmed her legs, very slowly, hips pushing against Cass’s as Cass found a particularly _nice_ spot with her fingers, just above her tailbone.

Who knew gentle fingers caressing her back was a weakness? Elsa wanted Cass to stop as she couldn’t think straight and her skin was buzzing and there was a warmth and tightness building in her that was pleasant but alarming. But she didn’t want Cass to stop because she was curious about where this was going and it felt _too good_ and too nice. 

Or maybe she just didn’t want to admit she was feeling a little turned on after inviting a near _stranger_ into her bed and Anna really _was_ never going to let her live this down.

Therefore, Anna could never find out.

Elsa finally moved, just enough to lift her head to look at Cass’s face. Dark hazel eyes peered back at her from underneath heavy eyelids.

“Good morning,” Cass said, voice raspy from sleep.

“Good morning.” Elsa’s throat felt tight, just then Cass’s fingers trailed up her spine, making her arch against Cass just a little bit. Elsa could no longer conceal from herself that Cassandra was making her feel a very certain way. She rolled out of bed and stood, the air immediately around her skin dropping six degrees to cool herself off. She turned around in time to see Cass’s eyes jerk back up to her face and had to lower her temperature another degree. 

Shakily, she said, “I’m going to um. Help.” Elsa gestured towards the entrance of the goahti as her magic swirled around her, replacing her nightgown with her favored white and sparkly attire in the north, “With things. Morning things. And freshen up.”

Cass sat up, running her gloved hand through her hair. Elsa had _questions_ about that and hoped Cass would tell her about it, but Cass only nodded, “Let me freshen up too, I’d like to help.”

“Thank you. We’re going to have all day to show you around, there are some places I have in mind but _mostly_ we’re going to see where the wind takes us.” Barely waiting for Cass’s acknowledgement, Elsa ducked out of the goahti, and nearly ran into someone.

“You’re in a hurry,” Honeymaren smiled at her. Elsa felt a little ache in her chest at the expression, but not as much as she might have before taking the time away and being with her sister.

“Just wanted to help out before I show Cassandra around,” Elsa explained. Bringing Cass had been a risk, but the Northuldra trusted her; Elsa just hoped she didn’t end up breaking that trust. But Rapunzel wouldn’t have trusted Cass if there was something _wrong_ , right? 

Maren glanced at Elsa’s goahti, “You two seem close.”

“She’s a friend,” Elsa said, positive her face was redder than it should be. Strangely enough, she felt _guilty_ , “At least I hope she’ll be one.”

“I’m sure she is.” Honeymaren took her by the elbow and started to guide her away from the village, “We should talk.”

“Oh, I don’t like the way that sounds.”

“I don’t think you have anything to be worried about.” Maren gave her one of those smiles that had so enthralled her early on. Elsa still hoped that she hadn’t lost her friend over her feelings; even as she rather sternly kept telling herself to get over them.

Was that what drew her to Cass? Rebounding feelings? If so, it was hardly fair to either of them, but she hadn’t been in _love_ with Honeymaren just yet. Attracted to her, and interested in pursuit as Kristoff had called it, though. 

Anxiety slowly ate at Elsa’s stomach as she followed Maren away from the village. A breeze whisked by and she smiled at Gale, feeling a little better at the spirit’s presence.

Elsa folded her arms, leaning against a tree once Honeymaren stopped moving. The woman had a grace about her and Elsa had to force herself to not pay too close attention to that. It was different from Cassandra’s grace, but different in the way a wolf might differ from a tiger and Elsa could not begin to figure out which woman was which. It wasn’t like she could compare them, or would if that were possible. They were unique, and she liked it that way.

Maren leaned her hip against a tree, watching Elsa for a moment. Again Elsa forced herself to relax, feeling as though spirits and animals were a lot easier for her to deal with and understand than people.

“About that conversation we had before my last trip to Arendelle,” Elsa said, wanting to get that out of the way. “Can we just pretend that _never_ happened?”

Laughing, Maren nodded her head, “We’re still _friends_ , Elsa. Which is why I’m checking on you.”

“About…” Elsa furrowed her eyebrows as she tried to parse out where the conversation was going, “Cassandra?”

“You don’t actually seem to be the kind of person who has flights of fancy and flutters about from one crush to the next.” Honeymaren pushed off from the tree, “But that said, emotions are a complicated thing and I just wanted to make sure you don’t end up getting hurt.”

Elsa’s eyes darted about as she tried to find the words to respond. She didn’t want to _lie_ , but she wasn’t sure about her own feelings.

Which was a lie to herself. What had just happened in bed revealed that for the lie it was. “I can’t explain it, Maren. I was… I mean…” She twirled her hands around each other, “There’s so many layers to this woman, and I want to see each one if she’s willing to show me. And it feels like she’s a magnet and I can’t escape her pull.”

“Do you want to escape?”

“Not even a little.” Elsa rubbed her thumb over the top of her other hand, “And I’m usually a lot better at describing things but everything is getting scrambled.”

She wasn’t sure if it was actually a defense for her, but Elsa’s attempt to ask Honeymaren on a date had been about as tongue tied. Though luckily in that case Maren had been kind enough to interject before she could have embarrassed herself further.

“She _is_ single, right?” Honeymaren smiled teasingly at her.

“Yes.” Remarkably, Elsa took the teasing in stride and relaxed, “I don’t entirely know if she’s actually ready for anything, and I don’t know how to woo her or anything either. But at least I don’t have to suffer that embarrassment twice.”

“It was really flattering, don’t worry about it.” Maren was now grinning at her, “You’re beautiful and kind and kind of adorable.”

Flushing, Elsa gestured behind her, “I’m going to help with … morning things because we have a lot of ground to cover.”

“Do you know what you’re looking for?”

Shrugging, Elsa replied, “I’m not even sure she does. I think she wants a purpose, a reason for being. Which is something I can really understand.” Cass might not find that here, Elsa knew. And she’d move on in her quest and if Elsa let herself get much closer that would hurt much more than she’d like. With Anna, and her friends, she’d be fine. But it would still hurt.

“What about you?”

“Pardon?”

“Are you still looking for anything?”

Elsa frowned, considering her friend’s words, “I suppose I still have some questions, but the people who can answer them are gone.” It was a little frustrating, and she could scarcely admit to herself that she had mixed feelings about her parents and her childhood.

Honeymaren just nodded, “Maybe you can both find something together. And if there’s meant to be more between you, you’ll find that too.”

“Do you believe in soulmates, Maren?”

“Maybe not in the way you mean.” Maren put her arm around Elsa and squeezed as they headed back. Once they returned to the village, Elsa looked around for Cass.

“Ryder was going to talk to her, I’m sure she’ll be back.” Honeymaren winked at her, then slipped past her to greet her wife.

Ryder talk to … “Wait, what? Oh _no_.”


	5. Matters of Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a dentist appt this week so this'll either be an early update or a bonus update depending on how I feel by friday!

“Cass! There you are.” Elsa rushed over to where Cass had sat down, looking at her with some concern in her eyes. Cass simply raised her eyebrows, then patted the bench next to her. She’d been weighing some of her options moving forward, what she wanted to do with herself. If she even wanted to travel the rest of her life or if she wanted to make a career somewhere.

“I. Ah. Morning,” Elsa said, though they’d already said their good mornings. Cass shoved that particular memory down. In her half awake state she’d taken certain liberties but at least she hadn’t managed to scare Elsa off by being handsy. But others had certainly noticed this growing thing between them, even before either of them were really ready to acknowledge it.

“You have good friends here,” she said, digging into her breakfast.

“I do? I mean, I do.” Elsa looked confused, “Is everything all right?”

“Ryder cares a lot about you.” Cass studied Elsa’s face out of the corner of her eye, “And apparently knows places in the forest no one would ever find me if I hurt you.”

Elsa buried her face in her hands, “Oh my God.”

Cass knew she could take Ryder, though Honeymaren and her wife might prove to be a challenge, so she wasn’t actually too worried, “Honestly, I should probably be more afraid of your sister. I’m pretty sure she knows how to handle a shovel.”

Honestly, Cass thought she shouldn’t be handling any of this so well, these assumptions people were making. But there was a certain appeal to it, and Elsa was an undeniable magnet for her.

Elsa just nodded, hands still covering her face. Then she inhaled deeply and dropped them into her lap, “Moving on. Once you’re ready, the Nokk has agreed to let us ride him today. We can cover more ground than on Fidella. Just tell me if you feel drawn in any particular direction and we’ll go that way.”

There was only one direction she was feeling just then, but Cass ignored it, “You mentioned you had some places you wanted to show me?”

“There’s a waterfall that’s just … beautiful. It might be inspiring? And there’s a specific hill overlooking the sea,” Elsa explained. “They’ve always felt special, like there’s a connection between them and the spirits. There’s also …” She shook her head, “It’s … nevermind.”

Whatever this place was, it was either very important, very personal, or both, “It’s okay.” She put her hand over Elsa’s, “The waterfall, hill, or wherever the wind takes us should be enough. I don’t want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable.” 

There was a small spike of fear in Cass’s stomach, that the place Elsa was dismissing would be the exact place she needed. But Cassandra knew the consequences of reaching for something that wasn’t hers, of grasping for a power she couldn’t control and didn’t belong to her. And somehow, even without Elsa saying as much, Cassandra could feel the hum of power. It thrummed and flowed, leading north.

“It’s called Ahtohollan,” Elsa explained, getting to her feet and holding her hand out to Cass. After a moment’s hesitation, she took Elsa’s hand.

“El you don’t have to explain. If I’m meant to--”

“It might be important.” Elsa’s tone and grip were both firm.

“Later, then.” She wanted to give Elsa a chance to change her mind, to really think about it before telling Cass something that was clearly difficult for her. 

Even Elsa saying the _name_ had felt like power. Nothing like the Moonstone or the Sundrop, though the thought of both made Cassandra’s hand and heart ache. She knew there was power in words and magic in the world but what she couldn’t say was if this was a power or a word that had any place for her.

Ahtohallan belonged to Elsa and Cassandra would never again take something that was not offered freely. Some of her scars were scars she bore for her hubris. Even if she hadn’t liked Elsa so much, she’d be firm in that conviction.

Elsa’s jaw tensed and twitched, then she nodded. But she didn’t let go of Cass’s hand as she led her out of the village and to where the Nokk waited. Cass eyed the spirit dubiously, noting that the water had frozen over into a frosty mixture of ice and snow, “So how do we avoid cold butts?”

“As long as you’re touching me, you won’t feel it,” Elsa explained, biting her lip and glancing at the Nokk. “I’ve never actually taken anyone besides Anna for a ride, but it seems to work towards regulating us both and he was okay with the idea when I asked him.”

“If you’re okay with that,” Cass said, figuring that the number of people who Elsa was comfortable with touching her was somewhere between one and four and it may also depend on time of day. 

Did Olaf count as a person? 

Elsa took a running jump and hopped up onto the Nokk’s back. The Nokk pranced a bit and preened, and she leaned forward to stroke his neck and whisper to him. Then she turned around and held out her hand to Cass, “We get to switch positions today.”

Sunlight lit her hair into an almost silvery fire and Cass stood there enraptured for several moments before snapping herself out of it. She took Elsa’s hand and climbed on behind her, resting her hands on Elsa’s waist. As always, the coolness of her soothed Cass’s aches, and for the first time it wasn’t just her hand that was soothed. 

Last night, she’d noticed that Elsa’s body heat had reached a sort of equilibrium, warming up where they’d touched. It made Elsa’s closeness suddenly seem all that much closer.

But quicker than she was ready for, the Nokk took off at a speed far faster than any horse that Cassandra had ever ridden. They all but sailed across grass and earth, the forest canopy rushing past their heads and it was _exhilarating_. Cass had felt so lost, so without a home or a sense of being for so long now that she’d forgotten what it was like to _just_ be. To exist as a part of nature and a part of the world. She found herself laughing, taking in the beauty of the forest and of the woman her arms were wrapped around.

Gradually they slowed, the sound of crashing water reaching Cassandra’s ears. The waterfall was spectacular, easily the equal of any that she’d seen. But though it was majestic, falling into several streams on the way down to the river, she felt no more than one would expect for such a view. Moved, yes, but not called out to. “It’s beautiful, El.”

Elsa twisted around to look at her, then nodded as if she understood. “The sea, next?”

“Why don’t we ride in that direction, but slower,” Cassandra suggested. “See if the wind takes us somewhere and follow it if it does.”

“Keep an eye out for Gale, it sometimes notices things we might not.” As if on cue, Gale dove down from the heavens, swirling around Elsa before disappearing towards the north. And for just a moment, Cass could only stare at the mess it made of Elsa’s hair and the way she was laughing.

A much better view than any waterfall. Cass wanted to kiss every last freckle on Elsa’s face.

Sighing, Elsa nudged the Nokk forward. “The spirits can be a little silly, sometimes. Especially Gale. But it's a spirit of the air, so I suppose it makes sense it’s a little flighty.”

Cass allowed herself one quick moment to lean in and inhale the scent of Elsa’s hair, “Air is an element of freedom but is also a little chaotic. It can flit from moment to moment as soft as a breeze or strong as a hurricane and it can never be contained.”

“All the elements are elements of change,” Elsa said, and she leaned back against Cass. “Earth can move, crack and bend or split apart. Water is … obvious, it’s never still, never the same as it was though it might remember.” She patted the Nokk, “It flows and collects all the memories of everything it comes in contact to. And fire, fire is change, destruction yes, but also the change of life. Clearing the undergrowth so that new life can bloom. Offering heat on the coldest of nights.”

“What does that make you?” Cass asked, her lips brushing the back of Elsa’s left shoulder, “Is ice and snow not frozen water? Is a blizzard not the wind?”

Elsa shivered, “I’m a bridge, Cassandra. Between the elements themselves, and along with my sister, to humans.”

“You’re still human.” It made sense to her that Elsa could connect to all the elements. But most importantly of all, she was more than the Fifth Spirit, more than a Queen or a being born of magic. She was _human_. She was Elsa. 

Cassandra closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the sound of leaves rustling in the breeze, the Nokk’s hooves on the ground, and somehow, even Elsa’s heartbeat.

“Thank you, Cassandra. It’s actually really nice to hear that.”

Cass frowned, her eyes opening, “Do you think you’re not?”

“I grew up isolated from people because I was afraid of my powers. And then …” Elsa slowed the Nokk down a little bit, “I lost control, I hurt the people that I cared about. You spend your whole life believing you’re a monster and then you do the very thing people call you a monster for.”

Elsa was no monster, Cass thought. Not like herself. That this woman had ever been made to think she was a monster was criminal.

“But then I learned to love my powers and myself, even if it took a little while and I was never fully comfortable with a crown.”

“So you abdicated.”

“It’s more complicated than that, but yes.” Elsa’s voice had a note of uncertainty to it, “Do you think I was wrong?”

“Do you?”

Without hesitation, Elsa replied, “No. I've never felt more free, even with the responsibility that comes with my new role. But I do kind of miss the paperwork sometimes.'”

“Then that’s what matters. You did what was right by you and in doing so did what was right by your people and your family.”

“I always thought my destiny was to be Queen, but it turns out that was Anna’s.”

Fate. Destiny. There were those words again, that nebulous thing that Cassandra had struggled with her whole life. Who she wanted to be, who she was _meant_ to be. Who was _Cassandra_? While there were certain parts of herself she was happy with, she still wanted to find that intangible something. Her purpose. Not a handmaiden, not a guard or a soldier. Not even a villain. Whatever it was she was meant to be, she hadn’t found it yet and more than anything she wanted to make it for herself.

She was just lacking in direction.

“Do you believe in fate?” Elsa asked, moving her head and giving Cass another face full of soft hair.

“I believe that fate is something to be seized, that destiny is what we make for ourselves, but sometimes we need to be pointed in the right direction.” Cass closed her eyes, Elsa’s scent a little dizzying, “Like … Some things are always meant to happen. My meeting Rapunzel, for example. Maybe… meeting you. Our choices are in how we react, in what we do with those events and if we just accept them as is or make effort to do something about it.”

“It’s like a crossroads,” Elsa said. She felt a little tense against Cassandra as she spoke and Cass leaned back enough to try to rub her back, “Something made you go down that road, but it’s up to you if you turn left, right, or go back.” She squeezed the reins of ice in her hands, “Sometimes I worry that I took Anna’s choice away. That by abdicating I made her Queen whether she wanted it or not.”

“Technically, she could have turned down the crown,” Cass pointed out.

“Technically. But this is Anna, she loves and respects our people too much to cause a crisis like that.” Elsa turned around on the Nokk, peering at Cass with a pensive expression on her face, “And if the only choice is between duty and shirking it, is that really a choice at all?”

“Maybe it was simply a case of giving her a chance to prove her worth.” Cass moved her hands across Elsa’s waist, almost hugging her, “May I ask if you went left, or right?” It was pretty obvious that Elsa had not turned back.

“I went too far.” Elsa straightened, back like a plank of wood, “Seeking the truth. Not just one truth, but several. The truth about myself, about the forest, about my parents and our people. I don’t think I even had a choice in the end. Each decision I made narrowed the road. At first I could have gone in any direction, but once I picked one, I could only go left or right, forward or back. And then finally it was forward or back, and to go back…”

Elsa brought the Nokk to a stop in an open clearing, where the grass swayed in the breeze, “But I couldn’t go back. Not when I was _that_ close to finding answers.”

“So you moved forward, that’s admirable.” Cass felt as though Elsa’s words were speaking directly to her, and she’d once seen Rapunzel driven to find answers so it was a familiar refrain, “So you chose duty.”

“Yes, I did.” She swung off of the Nokk, staring up at Cass, “And then I died.”

🌙

The wind, it seemed, had led them in a meandering trail through the forest to a quiet meadow. Just beyond it, perhaps less than a mile, was the hill overlooking the sea. Stepping away from the Nokk, Elsa walked further out into the meadow, her words hanging heavily in the air. She’d never said it out loud before. Not alone, not to Anna, not to anyone. That she’d actually _died_.

“You look pretty good for a corpse.” Cass joined her, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing. Her voice trembled and there was something raw and vulnerable in her eyes. Understanding, true and genuine, though Elsa couldn’t imagine how that could be.

“I was dead. Not almost dead, not mostly dead, but _dead_. Frozen through, fittingly enough. My last act was to ensure Anna would get the information she needed to save the day. She was the one that succeeded in the end.” Elsa smiled, pride filling her, “I’m told she didn’t hesitate. She did the right thing as soon as she could.”

It was the reason she was here, the reason she’d thawed. Anna’s love and determination and hope. Still, she wondered if Anna’s own freezing had been as total as hers. She thought maybe she was finally able to bring the subject up.

Cassandra’s throat bobbed, “I think you did it together. That’s how this kind of thing works, you know. When you’re a part of something or someone, even if separated by miles, you do it together.” She rubbed at her right hand, “Love between sisters, or friends. Or whatever.”

“I got better,” Elsa assured her, more focused on Cassandra’s hand.

“I’m glad for that.” Cassandra sighed, looking down at her hand, flexing her fingers, unclenching and reclenching it. She seemed to notice Elsa’s attention on it, and dropped it to her side, “This place is beautiful.”

There was a story there and Elsa wanted to know it, but she didn’t want to push things, either. So she held out her hand, “Walk with me? The sea is a bit of a ways but I’m in no hurry. I’m enjoying spending time with you.”

After a few seconds, Cass took Elsa’s right hand with her left, and they started to walk, the Nokk galloping on ahead. As they walked, getting closer and closer to the sea, she asked, “Figured anything out yet?”

“No.” Cass glanced at her, threading her fingers through Elsa’s, “Talking about destiny just makes me wonder if I even have one. Or if my life is some cruel joke now that I’ve done what I was supposed to do.”

Elsa frowned, wondering what Cassandra meant and when or if she’d trust her enough to share. Maybe, she thought, when she was willing to share more about Ahtohallan and exactly what her own destiny had entailed. Trust went both ways, “Your life isn’t a joke, Cassandra. No one’s is. And you don’t just do what you’re supposed to and then stop. You keep finding new things, new roles and goals in life, and you keep moving one day at a time. Yesterday was Rapunzel. Tomorrow? Who knows.”

“Is that something you learned for yourself?” The started up a hill, though Elsa was disinclined to let go of Cass’s hand.

“Yes. Since the day I stopped hiding my powers, I’ve come to understand that life is a constant series of new discoveries about yourself and others. Controlling my powers didn’t mean that I had nothing left to learn, accepting my role as Queen didn’t mean I’d stop growing. And being the Fifth Spirit isn’t the end of my journey either.” Elsa stopped once they reached the top. The Dark Sea wasn’t calm today, the waves a little higher than she might have liked. A turbulent sea for turbulent thoughts, perhaps.

She turned, taking Cass’s other hand and gazing at her, “Whatever your story is, you’re in the middle of your next chapter. You’re not the same person you were a few years ago, and you won’t be the person you are now a few years from now. That’s just life.”

“Is it being Queen or the Fifth Spirit that’s made you so wise?” Cassandra asked, stepping back and letting go of her hands, “Or just Elsa?”

“Just Elsa, I think,” Elsa replied, chewing on her lip and missing the contact, “Though both jobs certainly helped.

Cassandra nodded, then tugged her glove off. Her right hand and part of her forearm were scarred, looking as though they’d been burned in a fire. Elsa’s eyes widened.

“There was an incantation,” Cass said, voice tight.

Elsa touched Cass’s hand, then ran her fingers along Cass’s and over her knuckles, making note that the touch seemed to soothe the woman, “You don’t have to say anything if it brings back bad memories.”

It looked for a moment as if Cass was going to continue, her jaw working, mouth opening and closing and then she simply shook her head, “I don’t… I want to… It’s a very long story about some very big mistakes.”

Gently, Elsa lifted Cass’s scarred hand to her lips and kissed her palm, “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll listen.”

Cass’s eyes were watery, and she took a shaky breath and nodded. Elsa wanted to hold her, and was just about to pull her back for a hug when the woman’s head turned seaward, “I feel like there’s something out there.”

That was … unexpected. Elsa clenched her jaw, “Ahtohallan. It’s a place of memory. Where I found myself. Where I died.”

Slowly, she hummed out the notes of that old lullaby, “And I’ll take you there, but you have to understand something. The memories it shows may not be ones you want to see or want me to see. Just as there are memories I’m not too keen on sharing either. But I don’t think there’s a way around that and we’ll just have to trust each other.”

“Honestly, it might be easier for me to show you rather than tell.” Cass’s eyes were deep and dark and Elsa knew that if she went too far she would surely drown in them.

Elsa leaned against Cass, closing her eyes and asking herself why she was offering this. Whatever Cass would confront, they could confront it together. But Elsa was just as certain there were questions she needed to ask for herself.

It felt like the right thing to do. The next right thing, Anna would say.


	6. Ahtohallan

Up close, the waves of the sea were a lot higher than Elsa had thought at first. Her frown deepened as she studied them; not the massive twenty-foot waves she’d first seen and still occasionally saw on a stormy day, but not the gentle calmness she usually associated with her visit to the glacier. And as she watched they only grew larger and more turbulent.

None of this felt _scientific_ but she’d had to acknowledge that the science she knew of couldn’t explain her powers or how the spirits might work. She liked to think it might be possible some day, but on this day she wondered if this was some kind of sign. Even as they watched, the waters became rougher, a storm rolling in the distance. And to her left, Cass stood, arms folded as she regarded the sea the same way one might stare at a wall that was maybe just a little too high to climb.

Elsa turned to her right, putting her hand on the Nokk’s side, trying to ask him if it was okay for Cassandra to cross the Dark Sea and step into Ahtohallan. It had been so easy with Anna, they’d crossed without question or fear or worry. Perhaps it was because Anna was as much of Ahtohallan as Elsa was herself and the memories contained therein had been for them to share. 

If Cass was not allowed --- well it would be too dangerous to force the issue, but she knew she’d be bitterly disappointed.

The Nokk pranced out of Elsa’s touch and then charged forward, crashing through a wave and disappearing into the water. She reached out, but he was already gone.

Without him, there was no way to cross; Elsa had learned the hard way that she couldn’t fight nature, only work with it. The sea and the Nokk had nearly drowned her for her hubris.

“Could you freeze it?” Cassandra asked, tilting her head.

“I tried once. Tried to run across it, create bridges and ice flows, but the sea is too powerful.”

“Not what I meant.” She unfolded her arms and pointed out towards the ocean, “I meant the whole sea. It freezes over in winter, doesn’t it? And you froze an entire fjord once before, or so I’ve been told..”

Elsa blinked, staring at Cass, “I never even considered that idea.” Her voice shook, because the idea of it terrified her. What if she lost control, even now? And then she had the distinct impression that that was somehow _cheating_ and somehow and in some way nature would find a way to punish her for even trying.

She felt Cass close the distance between them, and was surprised when the woman wrapped arms around her. Cass’s voice was soft, almost understanding, “The idea bothers you. Let's talk it out.”

“Nature is a living, breathing thing and the ocean is a powerful representation of that,” Elsa explained. “It would be like trying to _tame_ it. Control it.”

“Controlling nature is something you can’t do for very long.” Cass’s cheek was warm against the side of Elsa’s face, almost scorchingly so, “I’m not going to ask you to do something that goes against _your_ nature.”

“I… thank you.” Elsa stepped out of Cassandra’s arms, folding her own over her chest and staring down at the ground for a moment, before gazing back out to sea, “It’s tempting. Just to see what I can do. Stretch myself.” 

But just because you were tempted didn’t mean that you should actually do something. Might didn’t make right, no matter what her Grandfather might have thought, “But the sea is dangerous, even vindictive. Freezing it could come back in ways we can’t predict and that’s not worth it just to see how strong I really am. If I risked just myself? Maybe. But it could end up harming you, or Anna, or the Northuldra. Maybe even someone I’ve never met. That just seems cruel.”

“My cause isn’t worth that, El.” Cass reached out, then pulled her hand back and crossed her arms. She started to pace, back and forth on the beach.

Elsa couldn’t tell how she was feeling, but knew it had to hurt. Ahtohallan could have answers for her but it was out of reach and the Nokk hadn’t returned. The sea had become almost violent, now mirroring the way it had been on that day she’d died. Elsa looked at Cass again, at the shadows in and under her eyes. Conflict and confusion, an ache in the way her jaw was set that went straight to her core. Elsa watched, and she listened.

“Of course!” Elsa walked over, took Cass’s hand and guided her over to a rock. “Sit.”

Cass sat, looking up at her quizzically.

“Close your eyes,” Elsa said, leaning over and smiling. Cass’s cheeks darkened, but she did as she was told.

“I want you to breathe. Steady and slow. Let your mind settle, seek out whatever it is that brings you peace and happiness.”

Hands closing into fists, Cass started to steady her breathing. A few tears broke free from the corners of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. Elsa dropped to her knees and pried Cass’s fingers apart, “Relax. Breath.”

More tears and a few ragged breaths as Cass fought whatever battle she was fighting. Elsa wanted … well, it didn’t matter what she wanted, not right this moment. What mattered was helping Cassandra and now more than ever she was certain that even if there were no answers in the river of memories, there might at least be a direction or some kind of closure.

“I miss her,” Cass said suddenly, her voice rough. “Rapunzel. I _miss_ her. And I can’t go back and even if I did I can’t go back to the way we were before, or go to the way I’d thought I’d always wanted, but I miss her.”

Elsa said nothing, waiting and watching as Cass struggled to find words.

“ _She_ was my rock, my grounding.”

“I know what that feels like. But you can’t put all that weight on her, just as Anna and I couldn’t put all that weight on each other. While I believe that having friends and family helps, we have to be our own rocks too.” That Cass had loved Rapunzel was obvious. Maybe it was possible to love too much, or in ways that weren’t healthy, or any number of things. Whatever had happened, Cass had been wounded by it and despite her own crushes, Elsa didn’t think she could ever understand what it must feel like to love someone who didn’t love you the same way.

Or maybe she did and it couldn’t work, and somehow? That made it worse.

“The spirit bridge talking about balance,” Cass said, her eyes opening. They were still emotions swirling around in them, but she seemed calmer now. Not as conflicted though no less determined.

Impulsively, Elsa lifted Cass’s hands and kissed her palm. The scarred one, though she hadn’t specifically singled it out, “That’s what I’m here for.”

“You’re a lot more than that.” Cass slid off of the rock, kneeling in front of Elsa and for one exhilrating second she thought Cass was going to kiss her. But instead, she squeezed her hand, “And thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Elsa needed to look anywhere but that handsome face and saw that the seas had calmed and the Nokk was waiting.

There were still storm clouds on the horizon, but the crossing was possible now. Elsa got to her feet and then pulled Cass up with her.

“I’m ready,” Cass said.

🌙

The moon and the sea were intrinsically intertwined. Tides ebbed and flowed at the behest of the moon, reaching for her most of all when she was full. It was a full moon that shone down on them tonight and some small part of Cassandra wondered if the moonstone’s power had left some kind of mark inside of her. The seas had calmed as her mind had calmed, as her heart had calmed, as she’d admitted to the things that she’d never spoken of before.

Cassandra mulled over her thoughts as she stood at the base of the glacier, staring out at the water they’d just crossed. It felt like a great chasm had opened between herself and Corona. That when or if she returned she’d be someone all together different than the woman who’d left everyone behind. Maybe that was okay. Maybe she could be _okay_ with it being okay.

Maybe _that_ was her destiny, to grow into a new person, the next chapter that Elsa had mentioned. A part of her was suddenly excited to find out.

Elsa waited patiently nearby, and Cass turned and nodded at her. “I’m ready. But what you might see won’t be very pretty. You may even have some questions about my childhood.”

She didn’t even know what she’d see herself. There were memories she’d forgotten that she was pretty sure she wasn’t going to like remembering, “But let's not waste any more time.”

“We have all night.”

“ _You_ might.” Cass managed a grin and shivered.

“I can keep you warm,” Elsa promised, and for a moment Cassandra’s mind wandered in the wrong direction. 

Shaking herself out of it, she walked past Elsa and towards the almost archway like entrance into the glacier. Honesty in this situation was probably for the best and so she was honest with herself; she was scared. 

Scared of what she might find, scared she might not find _anything_ , scared of what it meant that she so readily babbled out her emotions to Elsa. Scared that when Elsa saw the truth of her she’d never want to speak to her again.

The tunnel turned into a long hallway and they walked through it together in silence. Elsa seemed to barely look where she was going, her eyes closed as she followed the trail by memory. It was hauntingly beautiful, light refracting through the ice in rainbow patterns.

When they reached a cliff with a bottomless drop, she continued across an intricately designed bridge perched atop descending pillars. For her own part, Cass kept one hand on the delicately carved railing the wholy way across.

She could hear voices the farther along they walked. Some were voices she’d never heard before, others heart wrenchingly familiar. Gradually, as if revealed through a winter mist, figures began to take shape.

That little girl with a mirror. That first time she’d put on a dress and understood at least a little part of who she was and the right words for herself. Even if dresses had become too stifling in the end, Cass still knew who she was in that respect. 

She still didn’t know if her mother had noticed, let alone cared and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

Cass’s eyes found Elsa and saw understanding in her eyes, and acceptance in her smile.  
Then that same girl skinning her knee and left to bleed by her mother. Cass hadn’t remembered that one, and she hurried past the images of her childhood with Gothel to the ones with her father and better, happier times. There were other memories too; a girl, obviously Elsa as a child, hidden in her room while her sister stood on the other side of her door.

 _Conceal, don’t feel_ , her father said, and the little girl took it to heart.

She lifted her eyes to meet Elsa’s, but Elsa was staring at her father with a conflicted expression. As if she wanted to say something to him, or ask him a question. Cass looked around, at the King and his daughter, and the gloves he gave her.

 _Don’t let it show_ , little Elsa answered. Cass lifted a hand to rub at her chest.

“I love them,” Elsa whispered. “And … and sometimes I _hate_ them.” She wrapped her arms around herself, her whole body trembling, “And I can’t ask them why, why it took them so long to look for a solution, why my mother said nothing, why my father thought _gloves_ were the best solution.”

“Elsa…” Cass started to walk towards her, but Elsa shrugged one shoulder as she wiped at her eyes. As defined as they were by their pasts, they could never change them. But that didn’t mean there were no answers, “Maybe you can’t ask them. But those memories could be around here somewhere. The conversations they had in private, the ones they had with you that you were too scared and traumatized to remember. There are answers here, I know it.”

“Maybe.” Elsa reached for Cass’s hand. Cass had the impression that Elsa wasn’t ready to look, just yet, and she wasn’t about to push her too soon.

There came more memories, louder voices. People screaming monster as Elsa fled the castle, Anna coming between Elsa and a man with a blade, a large monstrous wolf, a great tree in the forest as people celebrated and sang. She felt Elsa relax as the good memories started to replace the bad. 

Cassandra felt her breath stolen when a memory of Elsa ran by, hair streaming behind her, having found herself.

And then there was Rapunzel, too. Rapunzel dancing in the wood, Rapunzel painting, Rapunzel hugging Cass and Eugene. And there was Cass, always one step behind, loved but never loved enough, cared for but her needs unmet. And as Cass stared at herself, she realized how much her own anger and bitterness had colored her perceptions. Rapunzel _had_ loved and cared for her. And maybe she had been dense at times, but she’d tried. She’d just made mistakes, they both had. They were only human, after all.

“Your hand,” Elsa whispered, eyes widening as the next memory swept past.

The decay incantation was in many ways the start of Cassandra’s downfall. Cass whispered back, “I blamed her for a long time but it wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

It was like walking through a hall of her life and she didn’t want to see what came next, relive the mistakes both she and Rapunzel had made. To let Elsa see her at her worst.

But Elsa circled a snow-image of Cassandra, sword raised, Moonstone emblazoned over her heart. Around them were more memories, growing out of the ground like a bitter harvest. Cassandra the evil, Cassandra the vile, Cassandra the _betrayer_. Every action, every step, blood and tears on her hands and all the people she’d hurt.

Why had she come here? What did she hope to accomplish besides make herself feel like a monster?

“Elsa, I …” Cass worked her jaw, unable to explain herself when she still didn’t have all the answers herself. And she wanted to explain further, explain why she'd done what she'd done, why her anger had felt so justified and why it _still_ felt justified. But her actions had been unambiguously bad and no matter how good a motive she might have had it didn't change that she'd caused so much pain and suffering.

Cass couldn't even say that her decisions had been entirely her own. Her whole life, every decision, everything she'd chosen had been for the benefit of someone not herself. It was as though she really were the moon, in constant orbit around the people in her life. Gothel, her father, Rapunzel...

Leaving Rapunzel may have very well been the first thing she'd chosen for herself. Maybe, in another life, she and Rapunzel could be more than they were. But they could at least be friends again, she hoped. She just had to keep choosing for herself with every step she took.

“You were manipulated,” Elsa said.

“I could have chosen differently at any time. I could have not taken a power that wasn’t mine. The Moonstone...”

“That’s the funny thing about hindsight. Look again and ask yourself how quickly it was before you only had the illusion of choice left to you.” Elsa lifted her hand, touching her fingers to the memory’s chest, “And who’s to say that this Moonstone wasn’t meant for you? Destiny is … funny that way.” 

Cass thought of the mirror, and how closely she and Rapunzel had come to reconnecting only for half the story to pull them apart again. Then she looked at herself again, and the stone on her chest. 

Seeing something, Elsa continued to walk, and Cassandra followed though she wanted to sink into the ice and freeze to death. Here, up close, she could see the anger and hatred on her face, but Elsa glanced at it only once before stepping past it. 

And past it, they found an image of Cass in Rapunzel’s arms after Zhan Tiri’s defeat.

“Surprise. I died too.” Cass’s voice was strange to her ears, strained and wobbly, “Just trying to make amends for nearly destroying everything I’d ever cared about.”

She’d died, like Elsa. And like Elsa she’d died to protect the people she’d loved. But unlike Elsa, she’d _actually_ been a monster.

_I'm bringing you back._

_Rapunzel, don't. The power- It's too much._

_I'm willing to take that chance._

And Rapunzel’s voice in song, pleading and wishing for Cassandra healed. She couldn’t tear her eyes from the scene, though she could feel Elsa’s on her. Rapunzel could have killed herself bringing her back. She hadn’t hesitated, she’d acted with the same impulsive selflessness that defined her for as long as she’d known her.

“Now you have the truth, and without my bias sugarcoating how monstrous I became,” Cassandra replied.

“I thought I was a monster my whole life,” Elsa cupped Cassandra’s cheek, rubbing her thumb across her skin. “You’re no more a monster than I am. The moon is beautiful Cass, and so are you.”

It couldn’t be that easy, could it? But she’d harmed Rapunzel and Eugene and everyone in Corona the most, and they’d forgiven her though she wouldn’t blame anyone who couldn’t. How hard was it to believe that Elsa didn’t hate her? “So what did we accomplish here besides reliving some of our most painful memories, El?”

“You can’t find your destiny without first addressing your past,” Elsa pointed out. “Understanding it. Forgiving yourself. It’s not something that will happen overnight, sometimes it’s something you have to remind yourself everyday. And it may not even show itself for years.”

“Speaking from experience,” Cass noted, taking Elsa’s face between her hands. “But I think you should let yourself find some of those answers you need about your parents.

“I will, but ... not today. Close your eyes,” Elsa said, and Cass did so.

“Tune out the voices around us, and what do you hear?”

The voices faded away as Cassandra cleared her mind. It was easier this time than on the beach, and she realized that if she’d tried to come here with her thoughts as turbulent as they’d been then it might have been a disaster.

There was her breathing, steady and slow. Her heart beating, her blood pumping. Cass could hear, faintly, the wind blowing through the tunnels and crevices of Ahtohallan.

“It’s peaceful,” she said, and hesitated.

“And?”

Cass couldn’t say it out loud, because it felt like the thing she’d been chasing after her entire life. Peace and welcoming and a place to belong. And it wasn’t here in Ahtohallan, she was certain, but she felt like maybe she was moving in the right direction. Almost as though she had the glacier’s tacit approval.

“Cass?” Elsa’s face was much too close, Cass’s breath a light frosty mist between them. Emotionally raw, exposed and vulnerable, Cass cradled Elsa’s face between her hands and kissed her. It was the lightest, most feathery of touches, lips brushing gently.

Elsa kissed her back and it was all Cassandra could do to keep herself in check or not break down. She felt Elsa’s arms around her as the woman pulled her head away. Opening her eyes, Cass peered at Elsa, trying to read her face as worry gnawed at her gut.

“Was that okay?” She asked. Elsa laughed, and pressed her forehead against Cass’s.

“We should go, but yes… it was _more_ than okay.”


	7. I won't say...

They didn’t return to the Northuldra village that night and Elsa found a place a mile inland where they could set up a camp. Cassandra constructed a lean-to and Elsa used her powers to insulate it and create a dome to protect them from the storm that had started to roll in almost as soon as they’d reached land again. She thought it was actually pretty clever, combining their skills in this way. If she’d just used her ice, it might prove to be a problem for Cassandra since prolonged exposure to the cold was unhealthy for most people, and the lean-to by itself might not withstand the full power of the storm.

Cass got to work building a fire and Elsa watched the storm as it approached through a gap in the dome. She had a lot to think about; things she’d learned about herself and about Cass. Some were a surprise, others, not so much.

“I can’t decide if it’s a sign that the storm waited for us to make land before coming our way,” Cass said, sitting back on her haunches once the fire was set. “But I think we’re going to be able to weather it.”

Elsa smiled, stepping back from the edge of her dome and then turning around to walk back to Cass. Maybe Cass was right. Besides the lean-to (which now felt a little redundant), Cass had created bedding out of branches and pine needles, compressing them down until it almost looked comfortable. After a moment’s hesitation, Elsa sat down next to her and after another moment’s hesitation, she leaned in until their shoulders were touching.

“Aren’t you curious?” Cass asked suddenly, “About why I did what I did?”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m curious or not.” Elsa leaned her head on Cass’s shoulder, “ It’s obvious you feel remorse. It’s not my place to judge or forgive you, it’s theirs. So what matters now is if talking about it will help you. I can listen about anything you’re comfortable with talking about.”

“I feel like they forgave me too easily, too quickly,” Cass admitted. “And I don’t think Raps ever gave up on me, even when she did things that made it look like that. Like she let one of our friends develop a weapon to take me down and at the time it really hurt me, but in hindsight? I’d have done the same thing in her place. To protect the kingdom, to protect the people. Looking at it now, I was a threat.”

If someone she loved had lost control and were a danger to Arendelle, Elsa wasn’t sure what she’d do. She understood how hard it must have been to choose between wanting to believe in them and needing to protect everyone else, “So she had a back-up plan, in case she was wrong.”

Cass nodded, “I’m not all that angry about it now. Still hurts, but in that way where you know they did something for the right reasons and it wasn’t personal but it still...” She waved her hands.

“I saw the way your mother treated you, and then how that warlock manipulated you.” Elsa put her hand over Cass’s, squeezing gently. It hadn’t mattered that what Rapunzel had done had been the right thing to do; with that context, it was obvious that Cass had trust issues, “None of that was your fault.”

“That doesn’t change the … _resentment_ I felt at Rapunzel, or that I chose to go down that path.” Cass shifted next to her, almost as if she were trying to draw closer and then changing her mind. “It doesn’t change that she _did_ wrong me and that I wronged her.”

So Elsa scooted closer herself, hand still over Cass’s, trying to exude a sort of calmness with her presence.

“Resentment,” Elsa repeated, feeling disquieted at the word. Like it was resonating somehow. Her mind flashed back to Ahtohallan and in a very small voice, she whispered, “I think I resent my father.”

“Conceal, don’t feel,” Cassandra said, as if those were Words of Power and not to be spoken lightly. She wasn’t wrong and Elsa felt her heart aching.

It suddenly didn’t matter that her father had tried his best, had been dealing with a terrifying situation he couldn’t understand; all of Elsa’s conflicted feelings about her parents were suddenly in the forefront of her mind. “We were just children and he let the trolls rob Anna of her memories and he let me close myself off from the world and…”

“Sounds like he encouraged it.”

“Yes. No. Not on _purpose_ I think,” Elsa shook her head. “But to me, that’s what it felt like. Like he was telling me to lock away a piece of my soul, to be afraid of it. I guess … I guess that was his father in him, a little. Taught to fear magic, to see it as something evil. And mother… she just let it happen.”

Elsa squeezed her eyes shut, knowing that wasn’t entirely fair to her mother, not after learning the truth. “I don’t know if she could have done anything. Or what might have happened if she’d told my father the truth. They loved each other, they truly did, they _died_ because they loved each other and loved _me_ enough, but fear is that strong of an emotion. I still have so many unanswered questions.”

“Love is a _really_ complicated emotion, El. You can love someone and hate them at the same time, it can drive you to do deeds both heroic and terrible. And sometimes it can make you question everything you’ve ever believed. But I still think you need to go back and search through those memories. Get more context, more understanding. It might not _change_ anything, but it might give you some closure.”

“I’m sorry.” Elsa lifted her head to look at Cass, “We were talking about you and I just… I just never figured out the right words and I still don’t think I have, but resentment is _close_ enough. I loved them so much, Cass, I miss them so much. But they hurt me and Anna and I don’t know how to reconcile that.”

“You don’t have to.” Cass reached up, and brushed tears from Elsa’s face, “I loved Raps, and she loved me, and we hurt each other. But we were okay in the end, because that bond was strong enough to withstand it. I resented her once, I don’t any longer.”

“I like to think that we could have had closure,” Elsa said. “That it was the memory of my mother’s voice that originally called me to Ahtohallan was a _healing_. I just haven’t really admitted to myself until now that that healing process is still ongoing.”

“Feels good to say it, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, a little.” Elsa smiled.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

Cass smiled back, “Trusting me enough to share this with me. Ahtohallan. This conversation. For a lot of things.”

Elsa wondered at that, at how _easy_ that trust came. How quickly. It felt like she’d known Cass before, somehow, or that they’d been destined to meet. “Thank you for being worth the trust. And thank you for trusting _me_. I know it can’t be easy, showing the parts of yourself you regret.”

Wrapping her arms around her, Cass kissed her cheek, “I just hope I keep being worthy of that. But I don’t regret showing you those parts. I don’t regret showing you anything.”

In answer, Elsa moved her head just enough to kiss Cass on the lips. Cass’s fingers dug into her back, the hug almost crushing now. There was something different now, compared to their kiss on the glacier. It lingered, Elsa’s heart racing as it grew deeper and her body felt like it was buzzing.

Ahtohallan was a place of magic and of memory, and their kiss there had been like a promise in a fragmented sea. But this one, this moment, somehow felt more real, terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. Elsa broke the kiss after another extended moment, moaning Cass’s name as she did so. Cass pressed her forehead against Elsa’s, her breath misting between them. It made Elsa giggle, and she pushed Cassandra down onto the bed of pine needles and laid half on top of her. The kiss and the intimacy was like a balm to her soul, and from the way Cass was staring back at her she thought she felt the same.

🌙

They spent most of the night kissing, hands wandering over clothing but never underneath them, a maddening game that left Cass somehow both content and frustrated. When morning came and the storm let up, they returned back to the Northuldra. It was Cass’s suggestion, a thought that maybe what she was looking for was still up here somewhere. They hadn’t seen everything, and if she was honest with herself she wanted to see more of Elsa in her element.

That first day, Elsa assisted the Northuldra with chores; she was pretty good with a fishing net. Cass offered to help and immediately showed her up, impressing her friends, but Elsa didn’t seem to mind. She kept catching the blonde looking at her out of the corner of her eye and that realization made her entire being sing.

For the first time in her life, Cass felt appreciated for simply being _herself_. And while she’d always, always value Rapunzel’s friendship, what she had with Elsa was much more even ground. Hopefully, Cass wouldn’t screw it up. Elsa had seen the truth of her and yet she was still there.

Hope was a powerful drug.

The day after that, Elsa showed her other parts of the forest; meadows and rivers, lakes and streams. She’d never really stopped to appreciate nature before, but something in the way Elsa’s face lit up as she stood looking down over the forest made Cass take a second look. It was like learning to _live_ again.

There were nights she’d watch Elsa sleep, and others she’d open her eyes to find Elsa’s face tantalizingly close, sleepy eyes gazing at her with intriguing emotion. Cass savored every gentle kiss, every soft touch, desire burning in her like a slowly stoked fire. But giving into _that_ was not something she’d let herself do, and she decided to leave it up to Elsa how far and how fast they went.

Eventually, though, Elsa took them back to Arendelle. She’d thought there might be something in the libraries there that could be of use, though she mentioned her friend Honeymaren was the Northuldra Keeper of Stories and might have something of interest as well. Cass made a mental note to ask her as she was under the impression they wouldn’t be in Arendelle for longer than a day.

Most of the ride back was spent with Cassandra’s mind in a kind of loop, trying to digest what had happened within Ahtohallan and in the weeks after. What, if anything, it meant that she had been left so open and raw to Elsa. That they’d kissed. That Elsa had looked at the things she’d done and accepted them without judgement. In the confines of the forest she’d not let herself reflect too heavily on it, choosing instead to live in the moment.

Neither of them had really _talked_ about where they stood with each other. Why did she feel like she was sliding down a slope covered in ice with no way to catch herself? Cass had spent most of her life in others’ gravitational pull when she’d always wanted to be in control of her own life. But Elsa’s pull was so strong and if Cass was honest with herself she didn’t entirely _mind_. Maybe there could be a way they could orbit each other, in much the same way that Raps and Eugene had found.

Assuming, of course, Elsa actually felt the same way. Honestly it was probably _likely_ but she was legitimately afraid of being wrong. After all, assuming too much too soon was bad for her heart and she didn’t even know how long she was going to stay up here.

“Elsa!” Anna rushed up when they arrived, “You’re just in time. We’ve got a little problem with the irrigation system you set up and I can’t make heads or tails of it, can you take a look at it?”

“I’m here thirty seconds,” Elsa laughed. “Of course, and I’ll make sure to draw up new schematics for you before I leave again.”

“You designed the irrigation system?” Cass asked as she slid off the Nokk. Why she was surprised, she wasn’t sure, but it was an impressive feat.

“I did a lot of engineering projects when I was queen.” Elsa flushed, leaning over to brush her fingers down Cass’s cheek, leaving the impression if they were alone it might have been a kiss, “I’ll see you soon. Anna, can you show Cass the library? I’m hoping there might be some answers for her there.”

“The library or the _library_?” Anna asked, watching Elsa’s movements like a hawk.

“Both.”

Anna raised her eyebrows, “Interesting. I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.”

Cass watched Elsa ride off before turning and finding Anna half an inch away, eyes narrow. “Uh.”

“You’ve been gone like a month and Elsa is _really_ familiar with you.” Anna said, “What the hell happened up there?”

_We witnesseed each other's inner demons and most secret fears_ “Nothing happened, I promise.”

“Uh huh. Well, if she wanted you to see the library, then I can show you the library.” Not seeming entirely satisfied with Cass’s answer but not exactly seeming angry about it either, Anna gestured for Cass to follow her.

“This library sounds like something special.”

Anna smiled, “You’ll see when you get there. It really is something special.”

In a kingdom like Arendelle, just about everything felt just a little special. Maybe it was the magic in the air, or the way the people were generally good. So the idea of a library being special was easy enough for Cassandra to accept. “Personal reasons, or magical ones?”

“A little of both? We discovered our parents used to do a lot of research into Elsa’s magic, trying to help her.” Anna led her down a hallway and then into the library. It was a cozy library, with a fireplace and books stacked on shelves on several walls. A large statue of a horse dominated one corner of the room, and it was to this that Anna made a beeline. Cass watched, curious, as Anna reached up to grab the front hoof and then tugged it down.

The statue slid to the side, revealing a doorway.

“Secret libraries,” Cass breathed.

“Yeah.” Anna frowned, “Secrets nearly destroyed my family, so I try not to keep any these days.”

“That’s probably an impossible task for a Queen,” Cass pointed out, unsure of what was going on between her and Elsa constituted a secret or simply something that they needed to figure out first. She stepped into the secret room and peered around. There were more books, as well as work tables and research equipment. The ceiling was painted with constellations, but the walls were stone. It reminded Cass a bit of Varian’s alchemical labs and research and she felt a pang of longing for her friend. She really did miss everyone.

“There’s a difference between like, military secrets and keeping a bunch of stuff hidden from your kids when it could affect them.” Anna sank down into a chair, leaning her chin on her fist, “So there’s a lot of stuff here that’s old stories and legends, old books about leeches, older books about magic, that sort of thing. I’m not sure what you’re looking for. There’s one we had Honeymaren translate around here somewhere…”

“That’s okay, because neither do I. I did want to talk to you about an idea I had. There were some traders a week ago, but … ” She pulled out a book about the stars and celestial bodies, flipping through it. It was interesting, but nothing she didn’t already know. A second book was much the same, though she wondered how she could find what she was looking for if she didn't know what she was looking for.

She picked out another book, this one filled with handwritten notes in what looked like Elsa’s handwriting. As she sat down with it, she realized it was poetry or song. Perhaps things she’d heard over the years, though much of it seemed more recent. Ahtohallan was mentioned several times.

“You know,” Anna said, reaching over and spinning a little globe. “I wondered what my destiny was my whole life. It wasn’t until it _happened_ that I found it. Suddenly I was the Queen, the leader of Arendelle, no longer the spare. And it felt like it was meant to be, but not until after the fact. I'm sure Elsa feels the same way about who she is now.” She sounded a little wistful, and maybe a little sad, "She always chafed in this castle, overworking herself trying to be this perfect Queen that no one had actually asked for. I think that eventually she might have resented it. Resented the crown, the country, maybe even resented _me_."

"No, she wouldn't have resented you, Your Majesty." Cass looked up from a poem almost entirely about Anna, "You might be right on the rest, but I don't think she's ever felt anything but love and joy over you."

“You think so?”

Cass skimmed through another one of the poems, “I’ve only known her a short time, but I’m as certain of that as I am of anything in my life right now.”

Anna smiled, “Thanks. Sometimes it’s nice to hear that from someone else.”

She thought about those rare times that Eugene had expressed fondness for her, and she for him and supposed that Anna was right, “It’s nice to know you’re wanted.” And suddenly, she understood that more than she ever had.

Coming over, Anna peered over Cass’s shoulder, “I don’t recognize this book, but that’s Elsa’s handwriting.”

Cass tapped her finger on it, “It’s poetry. I guess that’s where Olaf gets it from. Some of these seem to have been written years ago, others are after you were crowned, about the forest, how free she feels. You come up a lot.” She glanced up at Anna, “She really loves you, Anna. You should feel blessed to have someone love you this much.” Rapunzel had always expressed her love in paint, and the memory made her soul ache as she realized how much she’d missed connecting with people on such a deep level.

Was that what she was feeling with Elsa?

“May I?” Anna asked, and took the book when Cass nodded. She sat down across from her and started to read through it.

“I've known her a month and I feel like I'm head over heels already and the last time that happened broke my heart and nearly doomed a kingdom.” Oh. Shit. She’d said that out loud hadn’t she. So much for _that_ secret.

Anna’s head slowly lifted and she stared at Cass, “Wow. Okay. That’s a lot. But true love is kind of like that.” She closed the book, saying, "Look at it this way, are you so sure this is the _end_ of your journey? What if this is just the beginning? I'm not saying that you should just _wait_ for everything to fall into your lap. You should always like, go for what you want as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, but there's _time_ , Cass. Don't be so focused on some nebulous future that you forget to live. You’d be doing both yourself and my sister a huge disservice."

“I’m not in _love_ with her,” Cass murmured, but she knew that was a lie.


	8. Follow Your Heart

“Just a little more,” Elsa said, adjusting the ice platform she’d made while Kristoff worked on the aquaduct. “You’re doing great, Kristoff!”

“Thanks, this would be a lot harder without you.”

Elsa shrugged, “If I’d thought to leave better diagrams you wouldn’t have needed me.”

“Take the compliment, sis.”

She stuck her tongue out at him but let herself smile. It really was nice to feel like she was still needed by her family, even though she didn’t live with them any more. That was the human part of her needing to be wanted, to be needed, “Fine, but you’re still doing great.”

“Thanks. See? I know how to take a compliment.” Kristoff peered closer at his work, “Okay I think I see how we can fix it next time. The grating here sometimes gets clogged, and the access panel wasn’t super obvious.”

“I’ll mark them with my magic,” Elsa promised, lowering him down back to the ground. “Then Ill redraw the schematics. I think I was really busy at the time and didn’t give it as much of my attention as I should have.”

“You do have a problem with working yourself to death.” Kristoff put an arm around her as they walked back to Sven and the Nokk, “That’s why I told Ryder and Maren to keep an eye on you.”

She laughed, “So is that why they periodically make me play reindeer games?”

“That and they just really like reindeer.”

Sometimes she wondered if Kristoff’s birth parents had been of the Northuldra. It would explain a great many things about her brother-in-law. “We all really like reindeer. Isn’t that right, Sven?”

“And I like you too,” Sven assured her in Kristoff’s voice.

While she sometimes still wondered a little at that odd connection, Elsa had long ago accepted it. Sometimes she and her sister shared brains too, after all. And Kristoff had been around both her and Anna long enough to be able to read their moods very well.

Which was unfortunate. 

“So I notice you’ve been distracted,” He said, one eyebrow raised..

“I’ve got a lot on my mind.” She folded her arms, which only made him squeeze her shoulders.

“Want to talk about it?”

“It’s silly.” She looked up at him, “But can I ask you a question?”

He grinned at her, that charming, genuine smile that she loved to see, “Anything.”

“When did you realize you were in love with Anna?”

Kristoff looked surprised, “Huh. Wasn’t expecting that one. I guess I realized it when I was handing her off to the castle staff, back when she was freezing over.”

_Ouch_. Elsa exhaled, “That fast?”

“I mean, I’d only just met her, but sometimes you get a feeling about a person. A feeling about if you’ll like them or hate them, or even love them. And then in the stress of everything… “ He shrugged, “I fell in love. I’m not saying I wanted to marry her then and there, but I knew that if she’d have me, I wanted to try to make something of it.”

“I see…” Elsa could accept that answer. After all, the whole marrying someone they’d just met thing was a tricky subject, and the concept of trying to make something of a chance? She liked that idea.

“This is about that woman, isn’t it. Cassandra?” Kristoff stopped walking with her, turning her to face him.

“I …” Elsa could only nod, face burning with the embarrassment of not just being found out but being in this situation to begin with. It took her a moment before she could find her words, and Kristoff waited patiently until she spoke again, “I feel like I’m in over my head. Like she’s the moon and I’m the tide, drawn to her and out of my control. It’s …”

“Terrifying or exhilarating?”

“Yes.”

Kristoff nodded, “I felt that way about Anna too. I still feel that way half the time. Maybe most of the time.” He laughed, “And it’s so scary, but it’s worth it too. I feel like I’m my better self with her, like she challenges me every day to be a better person. Without her, I guess I’d still be hauling ice alone with Sven. Content, maybe, but … ” He shrugged.

“But Anna is right here,” Elsa said, worrying at her palm with her fingers. “She’s not going anywhere. Cass is … She’s not going to stay, there’s still so much out there for her and I’m not going to ask her to give up what she’s looking for, just for me. And I can’t go with her, at least not for very long. I don’t even know how far I can travel from Ahtohollan and even if I could I don’t know if that would be right to. I’m still so new to this, I’m still trying to get a feel for what it means to _be_ the Fifth Spirit, what it means to be half Northuldra, even.”

“This is going to sound crazy.” Kristoff clapped his hands on her shoulders, “But have you considered _talking_ to Cassandra about this? The first step in any successful relationship is open communication and honesty.”

Kristoff was right of course, and Elsa of all people should have known that. She closed her eyes, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll lay all my cards on the table.”

“Come on, we’ve got some time and I think you could use a drink.”

Elsa perked up, “Our usual place?”

“Where else?”

🌙

~~Dear~~

~~My Deares~~

~~To~~

_Raps,_

_It’s been well over a year since I left Corona and half that time since my last letter. I know I promised to tell you more about the beast’s story (which I’ll do as I intend to write a little more frequently and I’ll also include an assessment of the other nations I’ve visited that may be of use to you)._

_But in the meantime I find myself much farther north, spending most of my time in an enchanted forest a few days ride from the kingdom of Arendelle. There’s been a lot of change here since you attended Queen Elsa’s coronation, but I’ll try to summarize it as concisely as possible._

_Some of this you might already know through diplomatic channels but I think I can give some extra insight. I’m not trying to offer advice, but I hope you don’t mind._

_Elsa is no longer Queen, having abdicated her throne to her younger sister, Anna. Anna is … I think you two would get along well, she’s an eternal optimist like you and possessed of even more energy. She makes for a good ruler here, well liked by the people and I’ve witnessed her win over the stodgiest of foreign diplomats. She has a different touch from her sister, who is more reserved in public, though unafraid of showing her fun side when with those close to her. I think you’d get along with her as well. I wish I could paint like you do, I’d have a much better time describing her beauty and her grace, and especially her smile. She’s like a fresh field of snow under the moonlight._

_About a year before I first arrived, Arendelle suffered from the wrath of spirits, magical beings attuned to nature. It was in resolving these events that Elsa became part of this spiritual balance and chose to move to the enchanted forest. She’s made a home for herself among her mother’s people, the Northuldra, though she visits Arendelle frequently. There’s a growing, but still fragile relationship between Arendelle and the Northuldra that has been interesting to witness and I’m finding myself remembering the parts of court I actually enjoyed outside of, well, you. It’s been really hard to not offer advice, though the Queen has asked my opinion a few times, since I’ve traveled around._

_An official unofficial assessment of one of our allies is not the only reason I’m writing to you today. There’s the personal too, some things I want to say that I couldn’t say in person, nor in the letter I left behind. I miss you. I even miss Eugene but don’t tell him that. I know you’ve forgiven me but I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive myself just yet. Maybe I’m getting there. I guess I’ll find out._

_I’ve had the privilege of watching Elsa and Anna, with a family they’ve seemed to have put together out of scraps and string. It makes me question some of my own wants and needs and where I might want to go next. I always thought my road would lead to war and conflict but I think I’d seen enough of that in the course of our misunderstandings. It’s so peaceful up here that I finally have time to think._

_I had this idea of building a little cabin, just inside the forest. I’ll need to ask permission of both the spirits and the Northuldra but my thinking is I can act as kind of a trading post. A go between. And I can hear your husband laughing already so please tell him to shove it. But I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t an ulterior motive, another consideration. But I learned the hard way that letting my feelings for others dictate my life only leads to bad ends. ‘Who is she’ I can hear you asking but I think you already know._

_I can’t stay here just because I’ve fallen in love with Elsa, just like I couldn’t stay there just because I’d loved you. And I shouldn’t settle on this trading post idea just as an excuse to stay. I feel no more certain of my destiny than I had the day I rode away, but maybe I understand myself a little better, which is something. And I feel as though my heart is pointing me in one direction, but I know exactly what advice you’d give me. I’m just not sure yet if I should follow it._

_With love, Cassandra_

_P.S. With appropriate thanks to a snow-men, I leave you with a poem by William Wordsworth_

She was a Phantom of delight  
When first she gleamed upon my sight;  
A lovely Apparition, sent  
To be a moment’s ornament;  
Her eyes as stars of Twilight fair;  
Like Twilight’s, too, her dusky hair;  
But all things else about her drawn  
From May-time and the cheerful Dawn;  
A dancing Shape, an Image gay,  
To haunt, to startle, and way-lay.  
I saw her upon nearer view,  
A Spirit, yet a Woman too!  
Her household motions light and free,  
And steps of virgin-liberty;  
A countenance in which did meet  
Sweet records, promises as sweet;  
A Creature not too bright or good  
For human nature’s daily food;  
For transient sorrows, simple wiles,  
Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears, and smiles.  
And now I see with eye serene  
The very pulse of the machine;  
A Being breathing thoughtful breath,  
A Traveller between life and death;  
The reason firm, the temperate will,  
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;  
A perfect Woman, nobly planned,  
To warn, to comfort, and command;  
And yet a Spirit still, and bright  
With something of angelic light.

_  
Dear Cass,_

_Please, follow your heart. You’ll be happier for it._

_Love, Rapunzel_

_P.S. Eugene wanted to say something but I scolded him for it._

_P.P.S That poem is beautiful, but I think you could compose something more personal._

🌙

“What’re you working on?”

Cass looked up from her notebook as Olaf climbed onto the log next to her, and casually turned it so he couldn’t read what she was writing, “I uh. I’m writing a poem.”

She felt ridiculous even admitting that.

He looked at her expectantly for so long that she sighed, “I’d really like to finish it before I let anyone see. Do you understand?”

“Oh, I understand. When I’ve got my own work I’m always in the _zone_ you know? I’m focused. I’m a _machine_ of poetry, spilling ink onto paper like some kind of mechanical writing implement.” 

He waggled his feet, then reclined back against a tree with his arms behind his head. “So I understand the zone. The silence and contemplation necessary to compose a poem from the very depths of one’s soul, the pain and vulnerability of forming the words, like you’re ripping them out of your own veins and slapping them onto that paper for the whole world to see. Poetry is such a deeply personal thing. To reveal your soul.” He tried to peer at her notebook again, “Would you like some advice?”

Rubbing her temple, Cass replied, “No.”

“Great! So are you going for a haiku? Free verse? A sonnet?”

“I’m just… “ She gestured at the notebook, “Seeing what happens. No particular formula, but perhaps … descriptive.”

“Ah.” Olaf nodded knowingly, “Ekphrastic?”

Cass slowly swiveled her head to stare at him, once again shocked that he actually knew some of this stuff. _She_ barely knew what Ekphrastic was and that was only because of the time she spent with Rapunzel in the Corona library, “Maybe. Do you really know what that means?”

“Oh yes! Poetry describing another work of art! Though I personally think you could count something like…” He pointed at the trees around them, “Natural art. But if it was a person you’d call it an Ode.”

“Yes,” Cassandra said carefully.

Olaf looked up into her face, face curious, “Who are you writing about?”

Standing abruptly, Cass held her notebook close to her chest. She felt silly and kind of ridiculous, her chosen artform normally being that of the sword or spear. Not words, not _poetry_. And yet … poetry was like song, wasn’t it? Cass _did_ like to sing … “I’ll tell you later.”

“Yes! Is it later yet?”

“No, I’ll let you know when it’s later, Olaf.” She shoved the notebook into her pack and swung it over her shoulder, “How long are you staying up here again?”

“Three weeks!”

And two left to go. Cass sighed, then held out her hand, “Come on, let's go find Elsa.”

“Can I ask you something, Cassie? Can I call you Cassie?”

“Yes, and no.”

“Okay Cassie.” Olaf nodded with a sagely expression upon his snowy face, “Are you going to stay here in the forest with Elsa? Or is it going to be more like a timeshare situation like she has with Anna?”

Cass stared straight ahead, trying to parse Olaf’s words. “Why… do you ask?”

“Cuz I like you,” He said, giggling. “And I really think you should stick around.” Lowering his voice, he spoke like he was telling her a secret, “I think Elsa really likes you. Sometimes when you meet a person, you just know, you know? There’s this _energy_ that just tells you if you’ll like them or hate them or maybe even love them.”

“Energy?” Cass asked, finding it impossible to dispute the idea. Not with how quickly she’d become enamored with Elsa, “And it can be wrong sometimes.” But had it really been wrong with Rapunzel?

“I call them _vibes_.” Olaf let go of Cass’s hand and waved his fingers in front of him. “ _Viiibes_. Sometimes you just _know_ you know? I know. Like with Anna! And Kristoff! Who I like to call Sven. And Sven. I knew we’d all be the best of friends! And look at us now? We’re family.”

Truth be told, Cassandra had been a little iffy on Princess Rapunzel at first, though mostly because she’d thought that being her Lady in Waiting would have been the end of all her dreams and ambitions. And in a way, that had been true. But it had ended up a lot more complicated than that. Cass had finally learned to accept that, though it had been difficult at first. “So what do you see when you look at me?”

“You appreciate poetry,” Olaf pointed out. “That’s a plus. You’re a little reserved, but you open up a lot when you’re around someone you care about, like Elsa. Which is a lot like Elsa, actually. I’ll bet you have a lot in common!”

“Yeah, we kind of do.”

“So you’ll stay?”

She looked down at Olaf and his great big eyes, “Do you want me to stay for Elsa, or for you?”

“It’s kind of both, I mean lets be real Elsa has really opened up since you showed up. But I like you myself, you always listen and it’s nice when people listen, don’t you think?”

“Olaf,” Cassandra said, kneeling down so she could be eye level with him. “You’re still young, and you’re really selfless at heart. More people need to take a page from that. But sometimes, the best way to help others is to take care of yourself too.”

“You mean like if you’re sick you have to take care of yourself so you can get better and then help other people?”

“Sort of. Think about Elsa for a second. In order for her to be able to help both Arendelle and the Northuldra, she had to make the choice to live apart from the people she loves the most. It was a choice to take care of herself and her own needs, so that she could do what was best for everyone else. Like letting Anna take the throne, and I think it’s pretty clear both Arendelle and Anna are thriving, and so is Elsa.” She put her hands on his shoulders, “See, I made a similar choice once. I had to leave the people I loved behind in order to figure out who I’m meant to be.”

“So who is that? Who ... is ... Cassandra?”

Cass frowned at Olaf’s question, “I don’t know if I’ve figured that out yet. At least not entirely. I figured out some important things a long time ago, but there’s still something missing. So the only other thing I’m sure of is I can’t rely on Elsa. Not because she’s not capable of leaning on nor that I wouldn’t lean on her if I needed it, but because it’s not healthy to put everything on one person. I did that once, and it was unfair to both of us.”

“So don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Rely on one person.” Olaf patted her cheeks, “You’ve got me! And Anna, and Kristoff. There’s Honeymaren and Haladreth. Sven and all the other reindeer. You can rely on Oaken for some _amazing_ lutefisk, even! And you can write your friend in Corona, can’t you? And visit. Maybe who you are isn’t something you find, but something built a little bit at a time. I like to think that’s how we find our best selves.”

Sometimes snow-man philosophers could be very wise. Cass laughed, and didn’t even object when he hugged her. “You know, I always wanted to be useful. But useful on my terms.”

Olaf shrugged, “Be your own boss.”

“I like that idea. And as my best friend would tell me, I should follow my heart.” And Cass knew exactly where her heart was leading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if the italics make it too hard to read!


End file.
